SUNDAY GIVEAWAY: Sticky Bellies

I am going to issue a serious alert for anyone who has had all the babies they are going to have --

alert: Be prepared to be slightly bummed that you did not see this fabulous product while you were pregnant.

Now, replace that slightly bummed feeling knowing that you will be able to give every future pregnant loved one the BEST gift ever! (For under $20 - even better!)

Every mother wants to be able to document their children's first year of life and track them growing through their milestones. Unfortunately, this desire often gets trumped by the chaos of the rapid growth and milestones kicking the you know what out of us as parents. I remember my plan was to take a photo of my kids in a specific spot in our home next to a stuffed animal that was given to them every month of their first year. I was also going to have them wear one of their daddy's basic white t-shirts and we would be able to see how they were growing. Yeah. Hmmm. That lasted about 2 months.

Let me introduce you to one of the coolest products I have seen that I really wish I had seen 8 years ago! ...

Sticky Bellies are removable stickers that help you document your baby's first year of life

month by month. It is as simple as peeling off the sticker, putting it on baby's shirt and propping them up for their photo moment. Imagine the facebook updates, email updates, and cute little baby book that could be created with 12 photos.

These people are brilliant, I tell you! Absolutely brilliant.

I am really excited to be able to give away a set of Sticky Bellies to you, one of our fabulous readers! To enter this giveaway, leave a comment answering the following question:

"Would these stickers be for you to use, or your friend? When is

the baby due?"

How to earn additional entries in this giveaway:

1. Follow our blog (publicly) and leave another comment (or let us know if you already are).

2. Subscribe to the Mama Memo and leave another comment (or let us know if you already are).

3. Blog about the giveaway, and link back here. Post your blog entry before you comment.

4. Add the Mama Manifesto button to your sidebar.

5. Follow us on Twitter and Tweet about this giveaway: "Giveaway- Win a pack of Sticky Belly stickers from @MamaManifesto. Enter at mamamanifesto.com"

6. Become a fan of Mama Manifesto on Facebook by clicking the button on the left.

7. Become a fan of Sticky Bellies on Facebook!


[This giveaway will be closed Saturday at 11 p.m. and the winner will be announced next Sunday!]

And, now --- for the winner of last week's giveaway:

{{{JordanLee}}}

Congratulations! Shoot us an email by 2/20 to mamagiveaways(at)gmail(dot)com with your prize in the subject line, and we'll hook you up! Keep checking back for more great giveaways!

My Best Friend Is Having a Baby!

My best friend since high school called a few weeks ago to announce that she's pregnant for the first time (!!) and my heart is bursting with joy for her.

Once we got past the “Ahhhh!” and “Oh my goodness!” and “Ahhhh” again, I asked her all the requisite questions-- How far along? How are you feeling? When are you due?

She went on to list all of the books she’s be reading lately. (You know the ones with all of the conflicting advice, extreme standards, and impossibly high ideals) Then she noted all of missteps she's noticed other (read: lesser) parents doing that she and her husband will never do.

For once, I was grateful to be separated by several states and a crappy cell connection, so I could keep my eye rolls and snickers to myself.

“Our toddler will never run around at dinner time!”

(suppressed laughter)

“What was that noise?”

“Oh… um, probably some static. By all means, please continue.”

I could have offered advice from my years of experience. I could have asked the “tough” questions from someone who's been there, done that.

Forget debating about the nursery colors, have they talked about about who’s getting up with the baby in the middle of the night- an ugly, bleary-eyed argument that inevitably boils down to “who’s day job is more important?”

I didn’t going into any of that because I know what it's like to be pregnant for the very first time (and the second time, too) and there is no way I was about to deprive my best friend of almost twenty years of that excited, anxious, CRAZY, know-it-all, terrifying, breathtaking, mind-blowing, magical experience.

(Being pregnant for the second time wasn't that different from the first time, except that know-it-all feelings is heightened and you gain the baby weight twice as fast.)

Instead, I listened, intently and indulgently, to everything the Internet had to say on whether her baby is a size of an avocado or a peach this week, everything she ate today, and how much weigh she should be gaining.

Why? Because she did the same thing for me almost five years ago when I was sending “pregnancy updates” to all of my friends via email and perfectly quoting Babywise, Sears, and SuperNanny. Oh yeah, I was THAT girl.

In lieu of more stress and more pressure from yet another “expert”, I simply told her to enjoy this time. Truly and completely relish this time.

When else do you get to know absolutely everything about everything when it comes to motherhood?

I told her to parent the kid you have. I spent so much time fretting about nipple confusion and bed wetting, when I really should have come up with 21 ways to take a conference call while my child howls because I gave his a red bowl, not blue....

I shared with her all of the funny stories and sweet moments. I told her should could call me anytime and that she’s going to make an awesome mom.

I also asked her to specifically enumerate all those instance of “bad parenting” she's been noticing recently... for mocking in the years to come.... er, I mean, posterity's sake.

Surviving the Competition

For the last month and a half, our family has devoted most weekends to tryouts for competitive soccer. My son Gobez, 8, and my older daughter Didi, 9, have been playing comp for the past year, but this was the first time that my 7-year-old daughter Lemlem went through the grueling tryout ritual. Just to be clear, it wasn't the kids who found it grueling -- it was me.

The world of competitive children's sports we've entered confuses me: the sideline intensity of certain parents; the push to make 7-year-olds and their families surrender entire weekends to tournaments; not to mention a program that inadvertently excludes kids who don't have a stay-at-home parent or nanny to cart them to practice, or a family budget with wiggle room to cover uniforms and a coach's salary. Still, so far the benefits of playing comp have outweighed the drawbacks for us (especially if I don't count the bruised kneecap and sprained shoulder Didi sustained at practice last fall.) Didi and Gobez have thrived in the team environment and developed new friendships -- which is why the hardest part of the tryout season for me has been agonizing over the prospect of veteran teammates getting cut. Keeping up with comp soccer is such a family commitment that to let a child (and a family) go after a year of devotion seems so brutal. If one of my own kids were to be axed, we'd be cleaning up the emotional wreckage for months. My son cries when soccer practice is rained out -- I can only imagine how destroyed he'd feel if his team cut him loose.

"Tiger mother" Amy Chua, whose recent essay in The Wall Street Journal describing the so-called Chinese approach to parenting has made her the talk of parents everywhere, has said that "Chinese mothers" presume their kids possess a psychic strength that can endure aggressive parental pushing for achievement, whereas Western parents are overly concerned with protecting a child's self-esteem. I've found myself pondering this point a lot while awaiting the tryout results. I believe that parents needs to strike a balance between encouraging excellence, building self-esteem and allowing kids to experience failure and rejection sometimes so that they learn how to cope. Still, is a child of 8 or 9 developmentally able to withstand the experience of being 86'd by a former trusted coach? Should a child be asked to withstand it, even if she can?

I wasn't a very athletic kid, and neither was my husband. Our three sporty kids were adopted. I can't personally comprehend loving a sport so much that missing practice makes you cry. However, I did have a modest "career" as a child actor in community theater, where the rejections from adults were up close and personal. Directors informed me that I was too short, too fat, too clumsy and completely lacking in sex appeal -- all before my 16th birthday. At the time I found the comments annoying but not hurtful; I sort of understood that the directors critiquing me so brutally obviously had no business working with children. My self-esteem never suffered because I always got the parts I knew I was right for, and maybe because nobody was pushing me -- I wanted to put myself out there. Eventually I gave up acting, in part because the audition process so often felt needlessly petty and ridiculous.

I think some of my anxiety for my kids comes from realizing as an adult that theater people don't actually own petty and ridiculous. You can find it anywhere. I don't want my children to be hurt. I don't want them to be afraid to try. It's a Chinese finger trap for the mind.

Only time will tell how far each of my kids will choose to go with soccer, or when they will discover the limits of their athletic abilities. For now, the game is still on: we got word on Sunday that all three children had made their respective teams. Some friends will not be back. I just hope we'll all be okay.

SUNDAY GIVEAWAY: Barney Butter

Recently I shared my love for a new (to me) product called Barney Butter. I am thrilled that we are able to offer a giveaway this week from Barney Butter!

Here are some quick facts about Barney Butter:

- 100% All Natural

- Peanut Free, Made in an Almond Only Facility

- Gluten Free

- No Trans Fats

- No Hydrogenated Oils

- Half the saturated fat of peanut butter

- No Need to Stir or Refrigerate

I have a dear cousin who is deathly allergic to peanuts and I love that this product is made in a peanut free facility so it is safe for individuals with peanut allergies.

But, facts aside, it tastes so, so good. It does not have a "mealy texture", which was my main complaint with other almond butter products.

It is the best tasting almond butter I have ever had. I've tried to switch from peanut butter to almond butter in the past because I know that almond butter is more nutritious, but just have not been able to find an almond butter that I like. Barney Butter is better than the best peanut butter out there. (Say that 5 times fast!).

Another thing I love is that they make these little mini packs of Barney Butter for on the go. These packs are perfect for a snack on the go, lunch boxes, travel, etc.

We are going to be giving 2 readers each a jar of crunchy and smooth barney butter so that they can try both out for themselves.

To be entered to win, please leave a comment answering the following question:

"Do you prefer crunchy or creamy?"

And, in case you don't win, jot down this discount code Barney Butter has shared with our mama readers: Mama15

It will get you 15% off from January 23rd -24th!

How to earn additional entries in this giveaway:

1. Follow our blog (publicly) and leave another comment (or let us know if you already are).

2. Subscribe to the Mama Memo and leave another comment (or let us know if you already are).

3. Blog about the giveaway, and link back here. Post your blog entry before you comment.

4. Add the Mama Manifesto button to your sidebar.

5. Follow us on Twitter and Tweet about this giveaway: "Giveaway- Win yummy barney butter from @MamaManifesto. Enter at mamamanifesto.com"

6. Become a fan of Mama Manifesto on Facebook by clicking the button on the left.


[This giveaway will be closed Saturday at 11 p.m. and the winner will be announced next Sunday!]

And, now --- for the winner of last week's giveaway:

{{{Johannah}}}

Congratulations! Shoot us an email by 2/6 to mamagiveaways(at)gmail(dot)com with your prize in the subject line, and we'll hook you up! Keep checking back for more great giveaways!

Mama Love

... The kids’ collection from Kiss My Face offers products free of artificial colors, fragrances, parabens and SLS, and boasting natural ingredients such as Organic Green Tea Extract to protect against sun damage, Nettle Extract to stimulate hair growth and improve the condition of the scalp and Tea Tree Oil to kill germs. The mineral based sunscreen stick is perfect for on the go.

... If you haven't been introduced to Heather over at The Blessed Little Nest, it is time! She recently shared some FREEBIE downloads she discovered that are so stinkin' cute and practical. Click here to download the "What To Do" daily planner list. And, click here to download a monthly calendar planner page. I plan on laminating the monthly planner list and using it as a calendar or meal planner. [sidenote: Heather does some pretty killer blog design, just FYI.]

... I love when I meet a kindred spirit! And, recently I got to make a new friend who also dabbles in this whole blogging world. Hailey has put together a very cool blog that offers all sorts of tips and hints and musings that will add a little spring in your step, or organization to your home.

... Okay, keeping it real here -- I love each year that passes in my motherhood journey. I love that I get to walk this road, and love that I am watching these little souls grow before my very eyes. BUT, I do not love the evidence of those passing years on my body and face. I know it is part of this crazy life, but I am just being real here. What I do love is a great skin care product that you can feel working on your skin. The Silica Mud Mask from Blue Lagoon is a new fave! It's fragrance free and color free, and the pure white geothermal mud deep cleanses, exfoliates and naturally strengthens skin.

... We love these heart-shaped madeline cookies made by Donsuemor. They are a perfect little Valentine's Day treat for someone you love. The gift box features both chocolate and vanilla cookies that are hand-dipped in white chocolate or dark chocolate. The only problem is you won't be able to stop after one!

... In case you are looking for a little Valentine's craftiness for your kiddos to go with the tasty Valentine's treats, this project from good ol' Martha looks super fab.

Have you got any Valentine's treats or craft ideas to share with us?

My Kale Addiction (two new recipes)

Yes, you read that right. I have recently become completely addicted to kale.

It was a vegetable that I must admit I was always a little intimidated by. I'd see it lurking on the shelves all dark green and healthy looking, but I did not know how to prepare it. So, I'd pass it by, heading to the veggies I am more familiar with. You could say I was in a veggie rut.

That all changed as I got to sample some kale salad from Mother's Market one day. They were passing out samples and I accepted one, not wanting to hurt the sample givers feelings. But, with one bite, I was hooked, and the flavor was completely different than what I would have expected. The best part was that with each bite, I almost felt myself getting healthier. Well, almost.

So, here are my two favorite recipes for preparing kale that you must try. Take away the intimidation and you will be so glad you did.

Recipe #1

Chopped Kale Salad

(my interpretation of the Mother's Market deliciousness that was love at first bite)

Ingredients:

finely chopped kale (the finer the better, in my opinion), 1 bunch or half a bag if you buy kale in a bag

1 diced sweet red bell pepper

1/2 - 1 diced red onion (depending on how much you like red onion)

1 diced apple

1 diced cucumber (persian is the best)

1 diced avocado

freshly ground salt & pepper (to taste)

optional: add some chopped chicken

optional: toss in a little goat cheese and you will swoon

Do your chopping (and get an arm work out), and combine everything in a bowl. Toss together with dressing (below).

Dressing:

I make my own dressing with olive oil and seasoned rice vinegar. I do about 1 part olive oil to 2 parts vinegar. For this recipe I would use about 2 tablespoons of olive oil to 4-5 tablespoons of vinegar.

I "eye ball" everything while cooking, which I know is really annoying to those who measure and follow recipes to the T. But, I don't think you can screw up this dressing. It is slightly sweet and so delish on this salad.

Recipe #2

Mexican Kale Scramble

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 coursely chopped red onion (think fajitas style)

1 coursely chopped red bell pepper

1 coursely chopped green bell pepper

1 cup diced cooked chicken

finely chop a handful of kale leaves, the finer the better

1 can of black beans, drained

salt and pepper for seasoning

(optional: frozen chopped cilantro, or fresh chopped cilantro)

the juice from 1/2 a lime

mex shredded cheese, salsa and diced avocado for garnish

1. Heat olive oil in saute pan and add red onion and bell peppers. Saute until tender. Season with salt and pepper.

2. Add cooked chicken and heat for a few minutes.

3. Add kale and saute until tender, and then add beans to mix and heat until beans are warm.

4. Add the lime juice and stir thoroughly. Add cilantro if using and saute for a minute.

5. Serve into bowls and garnish with cheese, salsa and some diced avocado.

Enjoy!!!

Talking to Kids About Tragedy

Between the shooting in Tuscon, the anniversary of the earthquake, and Martin Luther King Junior’s birthday, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I talk with my kids about tragedy.  I try to live my life with eyes wide open – I want to know what is going on in the world and I’m very intentional about educating myself on the issues, even when those issues are hard to face.  I think that is why I am sometimes ambivalent about how to talk with my kids about difficult subjects.  I want my kids to be educated and empathic citizens.  But thus far, I have been relatively silent with them on many things.

I try to shield my kids from tragedy.  I don’t know if there is a right or wrong answer in how to deal with this, or a magical age when kids are ready to have the veil of innocence lifted to expose the evil that is in the world.  What I do know is two things: 1) I want my kids to be adults who are informed about world events, injustice, privilege and racism, 2) I don’t think they are ready right now.

Jafta had a fireman come and talk to his school.  In the weeks following, he talked endlesslessly about all the ways he could die by fire.  His stress level went up, and he seemed afraid.  Similarly, I remember a time around that age when my parents were watching the news and explained a bit of the cold war to me.  I remember being so scared of being bombed by the Russians.  I thought about it every night.  I was always prone to anxiety, and so that information was hard for me to process at that age.

With that in mind, I never watch the news around the kids.  I don’t think they are old enough to need to know about death or killing.  At this age, I don’t think that the potential for empathy outweighs the potential for fear.  At some point, it will.  Not yet.

We did not tell the kids much about what was going on in Haiti.  I think it hit a little too close to home for them to know that I was in a situation where there was so much life lost.  Jafta learned more at school than he did at home.  Kembe has no idea what went on outside the gate of where we were staying, and I’m very glad.  Someday I will have to explain those circumstances to him, but I don’t think he’s ready.

I do recognize it is a privilege to live in an environment where I can shield them from hardships.  I don’t want them to live in that bubble of privilege, but I guess I’m not ready to burst it quite yet, if I don’t have to.

Despite being someone who strives to be educated on racism, I have not explained it to the boys yet.  My kids and I talk about prejudice quite a bit, and they understand that it is wrong to judge others based on the color of their skin.  But the boys do not yet know the realities of institutionalized racism, or the heavy mantle of stereotype they will wear as black men.   They do not know that 50 years ago, they could not have gone swimming with their sisters.  They do not know the shameful ways African Americans have been treated.  I will be very intentional in educating them on this someday . . . but I feel l like they both need more time to develop their self-esteem before they can process these hard truths without it shaping their identity negatively.

I realize  their race will shape their identity inevitably – I just want a little more of a foundation before they have to grapple with the impact it has on our society.  I think racism might be harder to explain to a child whose race has been an explicit target.  I think it’s easy for white children to sit and read about Rosa Parks or MLK in class, and vow to never act that way (being in the seat of privilege and power to make such a resolve).  In my experience as a white child, the take-away from such stories was a feeling of self-righteousness for having the power to behave differently.  But I truly wonder what it is like when black chidlren hear these stories.  What is the take-away for them?  I have no idea, but I would imagine it might bring up fear, anxiety, hurt, and confusion.  Black children have to hear these stories knowing that it is not in their control to change the way their group is treated.  I think these stories must have a heavier weight for black children.  I don’t think my boys are ready for that weight.

No.  I just don’t think my boys can process that yet.

So, we won’t be doing anything big with the kids for Martin Luther King day.  It’s a bit anticlimactic and I certainly look forward to the future when we can celebrate the life of such a hero with our chidlren.  But for now, Mark and I will wait for the kids to go to sleep and then take part in our tradition of watching his famous speech online as we bawl our eyes yet.  I can’t wait for my kids to hear it . . .

But not yet.

How about you?  How do you handle talking to your kids about tragedy?

SUNDAY GIVEAWAY: 34 Degrees Crispbreads

The 34 Degrees Crispbreads are wafer thin crackers that are made from real food. That was the first thing this company did right. The second - they created some tasty little crackers that pair well with just about anything.

There are 6 varieties of Crispbread: Natural, Sesame, Lemon Zest, Rosemary, Cracked Pepper and Whole Grain.

Oh, I know. Don't they make you want to set out a cheese board and some wine right now? I recently served the Whole Wheat Crispbreads as an appetizer along with some brie, sliced heirloom tomatoes, basil, and a little olive oil and balsamic vinegar for drizzling. It was so, so good.

One lucky mama will win a box of each of the 34 Degrees Crispbreads. Enter to win by answering the following question:

"What was the last appetizer you enjoyed, and where did you enjoy it?"

How to earn additional entries:

1. Follow our blog (publicly) and leave another comment (or let us know if you already are).

2. Subscribe to the Mama Memo and leave another comment (or let us know if you already are).

3. Blog about the giveaway, and link back here. Post your blog entry before you comment.

4. Add the Mama Manifesto button to your sidebar.

5. Follow us on Twitter and Tweet about this giveaway: "Giveaway- Win a 34 Degrees Crispbread prize pack from @MamaManifesto. Enter at mamamanifesto.com"

6. Become a fan of Mama Manifesto on Facebook by clicking the button on the left.

7. Like 34 Degrees on Facebook. You can view them on Facebook here.


[This giveaway will be closed Saturday at 11 p.m. and the winner will be announced next Sunday!]

And now, for the winner of last week's giveaway:

{Congratulations to Glo and Renee G.}

Congratulations! Shoot us an email by 1/30 to mamagiveaways(at)gmail(dot)com with your prize in the subject line, and we'll hook you up! Keep checking back for more great giveaways!

Mama Love: Heely's

I always look forward to seeing which of the Christmas presents that are given to my kids win as the most loved and most attention retaining items.

This year we had a few that were all really close ...

... My kids LOVE their blendy pens. The blendy pens are really fun for my kids - not so fun for me. They demand mama intervention and help while in use. -Not my favorite aspect of a toy. But, they are a great lesson in cause and effect and help my kids exercise creativity.

... My son LOVES his Blu Track. I've gotta say - the blue track creation is pretty amazing. He creates these brilliant tracks all through our house that keep him entertained for hours at a time (Mama LOVES!). This mama also loves that while he is playing he is learning about gravity and other elements of science and engineering (he does not realize he is learning all that, but he is).

... The big huge hit for my daughter and I are our Heely's. We LOVE them.

Just to keep it totally real, I have to tell you that my first few attempts at Heelying were really awkward (for me and any viewers). I think that if I had a camera crew following me, I could have become the number one youtube video and possibly a winner for America's Funniest Home videos. The youtube title would be something like "awkward mom learning how to heely takes a spill in her kitchen". Or, maybe "watch a 7 year old heely better than her mother".

So, it started out a little shaky, but after learning our "balance point" (it sounds very zen), and practicing, we have gotten the hang and love our Heely's. My daughter zips through our house giggling and we are getting better outdoors too.

If you are looking into Heely's I am going to suggest the Heely's HX2 line. It allows you to start with 2 wheels in each shoe, and as you gradually get the hang of it, one of the wheels can be popped out and the Heely's convert to the traditional pair with one wheel.

I was a huge fan of roller skating as a child, and I am taken right back to those beautiful days my pig tails blowing in the wind behind me, as I cruised around my cul-de-sac, skating and dancing to my rockin' pink ghetto blaster with the My Little Pony stickers on the side. I am super stoked that my daughter has found this outlet as well. In her own words - she is flying over the sidewalk when she "Heely's".

Fly, baby girl, fly!

What holiday presents have won in your home?

Thought to Self

Something keeps running through my head. It just up and popped in there one day and now I'm trying to cling to it.

Because it's not the big stuff that I have a tendency to sweat. I'm a survivor of many big things, just like most humans...so I have practice at persevering through pain and carrying on.

But I've also had a lot of practice with the daily grind
and yet it still really gets to me so much of the time.
I mean, the thing about the daily grind is that it really won't ever end.
I'm selfish enough to dislike that.

stupid kitchen floor always dirty stupid where's the broom ugh
worry worry worry (enter big thoughts)
why why why are the Legos all over the floor again seriously?
It's 5 freaking 45 what in the world is this child doing UP?
worry worry worry (enter more big thoughts)
oh I get so sick of meals. Three a day? That's too many.
It's 3pm? Really? HOW is it NOT 9pm? HOW?
stop whining! stop fighting! stop whining!
worry worry worry (even more big thoughts)

You know, stuff like that.

This is when I start to trudge and martyr and pout.
It's hard not to do that because motherhood and life, well, they're
exhausting.

Motherhood, if all of its parts could be summed up in one tiny definition,
is
a million little sacrifices all piled up to make one big one.
And as much as it hurts and exhausts so much of the time,
it's also beautiful because it's the very thing I needed most,
to work away at my protective shell, my internal focus and my tendency to dislike
anything that messes with what I want when I want it.
It teaches me what we all need to know. The simple truth,
it's not all about me.

And so I say, as of late, when I start to stomp and sigh,
Heather, don't resent the sacrifice.
And then something softens in me somewhere under all that exhaustion
and frustration
because first of all, the details and repetitive sameness,
they aren't going anywhere, so I'm wasting my time to wish them away.

And as it turns out, for me anyway, sacrifice is a comforting word...
when I stop to see that it's making me more of who I want to be.




Heather writes at The Extraordinary Ordinary.

The Curse of the Good Girl

Every once in a while, I have an experience that changes me as a person – as a parent – as a woman. Most recently, it was reading the book, The Curse of the Good Girl. I was – and to some extent, still am - that good girl. Quiet. Polite. Demure. My daughter, on the other hand, is none of those things.

She’s no ordinary flower and in fact, I’d argue that she’s not a flower at all. My friends suggest, perhaps, she could be a “Tiger Lily.” The nick-name has stuck because it describes my daughter perfectly. Fearless, bold and altogether, too loud.

We don’t always jive. I’m often telling her to speak more quietly. Even more often, I give her the squinty eye and remind her “that’s not appropriate.” She, of course, thinks that anything that’s not appropriate is hilarious. It’s killing me.
She’ll outgrow, yes? Probably not. In all likelihood, my daughter will have her own style and I’m pretty certain it won’t be understated. If I’m lucky, she’ll grow into a confident, authentic woman with a voice that she is proud of.

Author Rachel Simmons writes: “Taught to value niceness over honesty, perfection over growth and modesty over authentic self-expression, girls are locked into a battle with a version of themselves that they can never attain.”

From communication to crying to criticism and owning up – Simmons cautions that the good girl believes “that conflicts is personal and ends relationships” and that girls define “leadership in terms of friendship.” While I’m trying to temper my flower’s tone and volume (molding her into a nice and well-mannered girl) – it is these words that stop me cold.

Power, self-confidence and peace. I want it all for my daughter and I certainly don’t want her to measure her self-worth or influence based solely on friendship or worse yet, fear of conflict. For the first time, I see her fearless demeanor and loud voice as a pathway to her authentic self and to a success that only she can define. Keep raising your hand! Keep running to the front! Don’t be afraid to fall!

Simmons writes, “Success is built on a paradox: the more concerned about failing we become, the less we are able to achieve. Good Girl perfection is success with a ceiling. Its pursuit offers little room for the risk and adventure that yield exhilarating leaps in growth.”

It is surviving those “exhilarating leaps of growth” that concern me. How do I raise a daughter who is both courageous and gracious? Simmons recommends, “Be the change you want to see in your daughter.” For us moms, she recommends:

• Try to tell the truth every day. Teach your daughter the language of truth-telling (respectfully).
• Put a premium on authenticity. Honor mistakes; embrace limits and failures.
• Be a little “full of yourself.” Curb self-deprecating comments; accept compliments.

For our daughters, Simmons says to teach her the three rules of relationships:

• Not everyone is going to like you.
• Friendship is one of the many possible relationships in life.
• When truth and friendship cannot coexist, get rid of the friendship.

It seems the key to raising an authentic daughter is helping her to navigate the mind field that is known casually in the mom circles as “girl drama.” However, it’s far more insidious as the pressure to be “good” undermines a girl’s power and potential. Whether it is conflict or communication – The Curse of the Good Girl gives parents tangible strategies for breaking the curse and raising authentic girls with courage and confidence. Hear! Hear!

Disclaimer: Michele received a free copy of The Curse of the Good Girl to review for the MamaManifesto readers.

I can hardly stand it

Seriously.

I can hardly even stand it. This amazingly talented gal makes me swoon nearly every day when I visit her blog. My blog should be retitled as "What Ashley Said Yesterday". She is just that amazing.

She recently put together this gift idea that serves as a daily calendar/notepad that very simply records the best of your days through out the year. It hits all my hot buttons: gratitude, reflection, pausing for a moment, simple (!!), easy to create and maintain, etc.

[source: ashley anne]

And, being the super quality woman that she is, she is sharing her template with all of us so that we can make them too. What a wonderful gift for a New Year's party (i know, just a little late for that!). I am making these for my kids, hubby and I tomorrow. I have to admit that I am seriously bothered by the fact that we are already on day 10 of January. I may have us go back through our calendar to try to remember the best of those days, just to appease the perfectionist in me.

Before you do anything else, click on this link and go download the template to make this for yourself or someone you love. You are guaranteed to put a little happy in their day.

Mushroom & Black Bean Tortilla Casserole

This recipe comes from the latest edition of Everyday Food magazine, 'The Light Issue'.
Not only is this casserole light and delicious, it is super inexpensive- under $9.
Plus, it's meat-free and gluten-free, but it's so hearty, you really won't miss either one!

2 tsp. extra virgin olive oil
3/4 lb. cremini or button mushrooms, trimmed & quartered
1 garlic clove, minced
1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper
course salt & ground pepper
15.5 oz. can black beans, drained & rinsed
8 corn tortillas, warmed & halved
2 cups salsa*
4 oz. Monterey Jack cheese, shredded

*I substituted the salsa for a 28 oz. can of basic marinara sauce.

1. Preheat oven to 400. In a large skillet, heat oil over medium-high. Add mushrooms and cook, stirring often, until browned, 7 minutes. Add garlic and cayenne; season with salt & pepper. Add black beans and stir to combine. Cook until beans are warmed through, 2 minutes. Remove from heat.

2. Arrange 5 tortilla halves in a 2-quart baking dish. Top with half the bean mixture and 1/2 cup salsa, then sprinkle with one-third of the cheese. Repeat with another layer. Top with remaining tortilla, salsa, and cheese. Cover with foil and bake until center is hot and cheese melts, about 10-15 minutes. Uncover and bake until cheese is bubbling, another 10-15 minutes.

SUNDAY GIVEAWAY: Madeline at the White House

I was very excited to see a new book about the beloved, Madeline. I grew up reading about Madeline, and now my daughter gets to experience this character who lives amongst little girls and Miss Clavel. I can still remember the first time I read about Madeline and her ailing appendix.

The author and illustrator of Madeline at the White House is John Bemelmans Marciano, grandson of original Madeline creator Ludwig Bemelmans. He has created a lovely story about Madeline and her friends who enjoy a wonderful American adventure. The White House in Washington, D.C., is their destination, where they are the guests of the president’s lonely only daughter for the annual Easter Egg Roll. Cake and ice cream, dress-up games, and scary stories told in the dark are capped off by a magical nighttime tour of the capital’s most famous landmarks, before it’s time for the twelve little girls in two straight lines to say, “Au revoir, America!”

“The idea for sending Madeline to the White House was my grandfather’s and grew out of his friendship with Jacqueline Kennedy. In a series of letters from late 1961 and early 1962, my grandfather sounded out the First Lady on ideas for the book, which he proposed calling “Madeline visits Caroline,” with text from Mrs. Kennedy herself. My grandfather died in 1961, before the book was finished.” – John Bemelmans Marciano, author and illustrator of Madeline at the White House and grandson of Madeline creator Ludwig Bemelmans

This book will definitely prompt empathy in your children for the "first children" and how their lives are impacted by living in the White House.

We are very excited to be able to offer a fun giveaway to TWO of our readers:

• Madeline 16” Soft Doll
• Madeline 23 Piece Tin Tea Set
• Copy of the new book Madeline at the White House!

Retail value $68.00 per pack

Giveaway courtesy of Peguin Group

To be entered in this giveaway please leave us a comment answering the following question:

"What was your favorite Madeline book to read while growing up, or your favorite Madeline book to read to your children?"

How to earn additional entries:

1. Follow our blog (publicly) and leave another comment (or let us know if you already are).

2. Subscribe to the Mama Memo and leave another comment (or let us know if you already are).

3. Blog about the giveaway, and link back here. Post your blog entry before you comment.

4. Add the Mama Manifesto button to your sidebar.

5. Follow us on Twitter and Tweet about this giveaway: "Giveaway- Win a Madeline prize pack from @MamaManifesto. Enter at mamamanifesto.com"

6. Become a fan of Mama Manifesto on Facebook by clicking the button on the left.


[This giveaway will be closed Saturday at 11 p.m. and the winner will be announced next Sunday!]

Mama Love

... I am loving a new food discovery - Barney Butter. It is the best tasting almond butter I have ever had. I've tried to switch from peanut butter to almond butter in the past because I know that almond butter is more nutritious, but just have not been able to find an almond butter that I like. Barney Butter is better than the best peanut butter out there. (Say that 5 times fast!). Another thing I love is that they make little mini packs of Barney Butter for on the go.

... Another tasty new fave that goes pretty darn well with my other new fave are 34˚ Whole Grain Crispbread, a very clever and delightfully healthy cracker. It is a wafer thin, crispy and toasty cracker perfect for enjoying with soup, cheeses, peanut butter/almond butter, or to serve simply as a healthy snack.

These crackers are a low-calorie cracker baked without oil and made using only three ingredients: whole wheat flour, natural cheese flavor, and salt. One 9-cracker serving contains only 35 calories, 0 grams of fat and 12 grams of whole grains. This Mama likes.

... There is a lot of love in the kiddo sphere for silly bands and slap bracelets. Seeing kids arms decked out with bracelets takes me right back to my childhood and the craze of friendship bracelets and madonna gel bracelets. When I saw these Slap Watches I knew they'd be a big hit with my kids (and me). It takes the slap bracelet up a huge notch! Remember the swatch watches with interchangeable bands and faces? Aah, the choices, and aah the pricepoint!

... One of my favorite things about this new year is my new calendar from Wiley Valentine. It sits on my desk in all of its letter-pressed beauty. I love the turquoise and green colors, and the design is the perfect combo of feminine and modern funky flair. The little owl who sits solemnly on top of 2011 reminds me to make the most of each day. For those of us who like to drool over stationary, the Wiley Valentine site is a gold mine.

Pita Pizzas

Over Christmas break we discovered a new favorite way to make personal pizzas. We are big on pizza here in our house. I constantly crave this whole - wheat goat cheese, proscuitto, and carmelized onion pizza. My kids, however, are fans of the kiddo fave - cheese pizza, or if they are living really dangerously, cheese and pepperoni.

Enter a new way to prepare pizza - on pita bread. How have I never heard of this before?

Ingredients:

whole-wheat round pita breads (1 per pizza)

sauce of choice (my kids love a basic marinara, but get creative and try olive oil or an alfredo sauce)

cheese of choice

toppings of choice

1. Heat oven to 425 degrees. I think it works best when you place the pita breads in the oven for a few minutes to toast the underside prior to putting toppings on, but if you don't mind your pizza not having a crisp crust, you can forego the toasting.

2. Build your pizza with sauce and toppings of choice. This is the kids favorite step!

3. Place pizzas in the oven on a cookie sheet (line with parchment paper to save yourself some clean up).

4. Let cook for 5-10 minutes until cheese is melted on top and ready to eat.

Enjoy!

My brilliant sister shared this new way to make pizzas with me. In the summer they build their pizzas and pop them right onto the grill for cooking. What a fun summertime party idea! Trader Joe's sells mini pita breads (about the size of a silver dollar) - I am excited to make little mini pizzas as a snack.

Do People Ever Change?

Over the weekend, I received an email from my moms' group with a link to a Myers-Briggs assessment.

I belong to a fantastic moms' group and I'm not just saying that because I'm on the steering committee...

We meet twice a month at a church. Childcare is provided at the nursery, which allows the moms a chance to have a linear conversation and an entire cup of coffee... while it's still hot.

As I write this post at 9pm, I am staring at my coffee mug from this morning, abandoned when one smacked the other... or someone spilled the last of the milk... or a million other things that prompts the dreaded whines of "Muhhhhh-mmmeeeeee".

In other words, I live for my bi-weekly morning escapes, which always go by too quickly!

Each time we meet, we also have a speaker on a parenting topic ranging from emergency preparedness to dental health to meals for kids. In February, a consultant will be doing a presentation on personality assessments and family dynamics, hence the link to the Myers-Briggs assessment...

I've taken the Myers-Briggs on numerous occasions. The first time was in a high school guidance counselor's office and just for fun. I took it again when my college was trying to match me with a roommate freshman year, and many more times after that as psych major. I believe I even administered this assessment at one point.

The last time I took it was probably in grad school or as a team building exercise for work. In any case, it was certainly pre-baby and pre-wedding.

My results have fluctuated slightly over the years, depending on where I was in life or why I was taking it. Let's just say, my "team building" answers were very different from my "roommate" answers.

For the most part, I've consistently remained an ENTJ type. (Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging).

As I sat down in front of my computer this weekend with a cup of tea (a fresh one) and started clicking through the questions, I considered how much my answers probably differ over the years. Of course, I don't exactly remember my response to every single question, but imagine it goes something like this:

When you don't agree with what has just been said, do you usually "let it go" or debate you side?

"College me" lived for conjecture. "Grown-up me" is just grateful to be in the company of other adults. Why ruin it?

Do you find being with other people thrilling or exhausting?

Depends. Do any of these "other people" require me to chop up their meals, wipe their butts, and of keep track of their loveys?

Do you like things to be scheduled or more flexible?

My carefree, childless twenty year-old self would gasp in horror at the weekly meal planner that replaced the "happy hours" chart, listed by day, location, and time. Okay, so carefree, childless twenty-year-old me was a little anal too. Bad analogy.


I don't get the result of my assessment until next month, but I'm so very curious how much motherhood, age, and circumstance has changed my "personality" over the years.