Sunday GIVEAWAY: RIDEMAKERZ $50 Giftcard or Car Set

RIDEMAKERZ is a fabulous out of the box option for kids who have an appreciation for cars. It basically takes the "build-a-bear" concept, but allows the child to build a car from scratch. They choose the body, the wheels, the rims, the decals, and whatever extras they want to add to their "ride".

RIDEMAKERZ offers the in store experience, an option to build your ride online, or pre-made kits that can be purchased and assembled at home. The kit comes with the tools needed and the process either way is designed to minimize frustration and delight the builder. One of the things I liked the most about RIDEMAKERZ was that you can keep the car at the price point that fits your budget. You can go for bells and whistles and add a remote controlled aspect, or you can keep it simple and go with the free wheelin' style. Another added bonus - once you have made your initial purchase, you can continue to add accessories or even other car bodies down the road for a lot less than going in and building an entirely new car (incentives for good behavior). I love that this gets kids building and constructing, and it is a great activity to do as a family.

This is one of those gifts that you cannot go wrong with. Whether you give a gift card or a kit, or take your child in for an afternoon of building, you will not be disappointed. This is definitely a toy that will stand up to a lot of play - they are built to handle a lot of action. And, don't think that this is only a toy that boys will love. My daughter was all about her sporty pink car with the heart and flower decals and metal heart grill accessories.

This week we will be giving away 4 prizes: 2 $50 gift cards that can be used in a RIDEMAKERZ store or online, and 2 kits that will allow the winner to build a ride at home.

To be entered, leave us a comment answering the following question:

"If you could choose any 'ride' to drive right now, what would your dream ride be?"

How to earn additional entries:

1.) Become a follower on our blog (publicly) and leave another comment (or let us know if you already are).

2.) Subscribe to the Mama Memo by clicking here and leave another comment (or let us know if you already are).

3.) Blog about this giveaway- with a link back to here. Post YOUR blog entry first and then the comment.

4.) Add the Mama Manifesto button to your sidebar.

5.) Follow us on Twitter AND Tweet about this giveaway. TWEET- "Giveaway- win one of four RideMakerz toy car-building prizes from @MamaManifesto. Enter at mamamanifesto.com"

6.) Become a fan of Mama Manifesto on Facebook by clicking the button on the left!

[this giveaway will be closed on Saturday at 11 PM, & the winner will be announced next Sunday!]


And now, for the winners of last week's giveaway:
(((Kelly)))
(((knotaway)))


Congratulations! Shoot us an email by 2/7 to mamagiveaways(at)gmail(dot)com with your prize in the subject line, and we will hook you up! Keep checking back for more great giveaways!

Mama Love

... We LOVED the great ideas from you mamas on how to break up the yucky weather doldrums. If you have never tried Tegan & Tage's cornstarch and water tip, try it. You kids will be in gooey heaven.

... We love the cute notepads over at Pikme Paper. They are sold in sets of 2 (one for you and a friend perhaps). You choose the design from their gallery of watercolor images (the cherry tree is my fave right now).

... After a holiday season marked by (serious) overindulgence of the sweeter things in life, I am LOVING feeling the burn with the KettleWorx work out system. It is super mama-friendly as it is a 3x per week work out plan that is 20 minutes long. Perfect for the busy mom trying to fit exercise into the nooks and crannies of her day. I am 2 weeks in and can already feel it working.

... Kelly's post over at Love Well is an honest reflection of the pull of parenting little ones on your marriage. It was good to be reminded of the importance of investing in one's marriage.

... As a mother to a child who gets car sick in a violent way (I'll spare you the details), I love Queasy Pops that are formulated with essential oils and natural ingredients (sweetened with brown rice syrup and evaporated cane juice) for kiddos. I remember seeing the Prego Pops line after I was done being pregnant. We have our stash tucked safely in the glove box of the car.

... I recently discovered Piggy Paint. It is a nail polish product that does not contain formaldehyde, toluene, phthalates, biphenyl A, ethyl acetate and acetone... and made in the USA! It was developed by a stay at home mama after her daughter spilled a glob of traditional Solvent-based nail polish onto a foam plate and she watched the polish bubble and eat a hole through the plate. Her tag line for her piggy paint product line is "Natural As Mud". We love that this product will not harm our kiddos' little "piggies" or the environment.

... The journal enthusiast in me absolutely loves the line of "topical" journals by Journals Unlimited. As one of those moms who always thought she would remember every funny thing her children said, and now can't, I am a huge fan of the "Out of the Mouths of Babes" mini journal. It is small enough to fit in your diaper bag or purse, and allows you to quickly jot down the date and moment that has your tickled your fancy. This is a great gift idea for a new parent or grandparent! I also love the idea of a gratitude journal or traveler's journal.

Fixing a leak.

How is it that telemarketers know just when we will be sitting down for dinner? How about the gazillion credit card applications and other junk mail items I get daily? Don't these people know about the "green" movement?

Here are some tips for fixing those pesky "information leaks":

• Say "buh bye" to telemarketers. Register your phone numbers on the FTC's Do Not Call list. Go to donotcall.gov, or call 888-382-1222 from the number you want to register. (If you register through the website, be sure to click on a link in the confirmation e-mail you receive.) Most telemarketers should stop calling once you've been in the registry for 31 days. Note to self :: You need to re-register your numbers every five years.

• Lower your risk for credit theft. You know all those offers for credit or insurance that declare you have been "pre-approved". Identity thieves may intercept these and, with the right additional information, apply for credit under your name. Call 888-567-8688 to opt out. With a single request, you can halt pre-approved offers of credit or insurance that are based on information from the consumer credit-reporting companies: Equifax, Experian, TransUnion, and Innovis.

• Stop the paper trail. You ordered one throw pillow on clearance, and now your mailbox is visited daily by the catalogue fairy. Opt out of catalog mailing lists through Abacus, which compiles a database shared by catalog and publishing companies. [write to Abacus, P.O. Box 1478, Broomfield, CO 80038. Include the full name of everyone in your house who should stop receiving unsolicited catalogs, your current address, and your previous address if you've moved recently.]

Got any tips for putting the "kabash" on any other annoying habits of the modern-media world?

Making a Time Capsule

It's the beginning of a new decade, so my kids and I decided to make a time capsule together. I thought it would be a fun project that they could open in ten years when they are 15, 13, and 10, and look back on some memories from their preschool days. In the year 2000, I bought a time capsule kit that my husband and I completed together. It was before we had kids, and we wrote that we couldn't open it until 2015. Oh, how tempted I was to open it early! But I know it will be more fun (and mean more to the kids) in five years. So now, we will have one to open in 2015 and another to open in 2020!

Our 2000 time capsule was a snazzy store-bought version:

But for this year, I just purchased a plastic container from the hardware store. I filled it with some of the smaller memorabilia we had around the house. I put in their preschool pictures, a shot with santa, Jafta's first team shirt, India's birthday pom poms, Karis's ultrasound pictures, and a copy of a shutterfly book I made for Keanan. Along with some other odds and ends, I also added an old cell phone, because I thought it would be funny to see how the technology has changed.

I also interviewed the kids to try to get a fun snapshot of what their interests are at this point in their life. I asked about favorite foods, favorite movies, and favorite pastimes. Here are a few of my favorite answers from Jafta:

What are your favorite songs?

"Beatle, the Backyardigans song . . . I used to like Do You Know Your Enemy (Green Day) but not anymore, because now I like a few more songs better. Like this song that goes like this: (starts humming the bass part of a White Stripes song). Bam bam, bam bam bam BAM BAM."

What are your favorite foods?

"Medieval Times food, tortilla soup, and sushi, but not the spicy part where you put your finger in your mouth, but I’m gonna need to think about this more."

What are your favorite movies?

"Transformers (he has never seen this), Star Wars (never seen it), Spiderman (nope, never seen it). And this one movie called How to Teach Dogs. it’s about a guy that, like, turns into an alien. And then there’s a guy that, like, turns into a dog. What a funny part." (I believe this to be a completely made up movie)

"And Scary Vine. It has skeletons and vampires and mummies. And wolves. And coyotes. Ow-oooooooohhhhhhhh!" (I also believe this to be a fictional movie).

"And Wobble Snow. That's where penguins dive into the water and there’s like a huge kind of whale that’s called a killer whale. There’s, like, snow that cracks and turns into a water. And then there’s a tiger that fights the penguin and then the killer whale eats them. It swims totally fast. It’s very disturbing. And there’s a type of fish that’s called an eagle fish. It has two sharp knives and it kills the penguins so they swim very fast and they go all the way down under water and make this noise: woierowier. It’s a funny part. You’re gonna wanna see this movie. And the like this guy that throws a ball at the penguins and he hits the water in his big army boat, with Lego guys underneath."

Okay, my guy is kind of a fibber. But I think it will be hilarious to read these answers to him when he is a teenager!

Have you ever done a time capsule with your kids? What items did you include?

Talk Back: It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring

So, I know we are utterly spoiled with typically having very mama-friendly weather. I know. But, the last 10 days have been unusually wet and is making for some pretty stir crazy kids and frazzled mommies.

Today we want your best tips and tricks of the mama trade for how you survive yucky weather. What are your "go to" indoor activities? What do you do to break up the time inside? How do you keep your kids from bouncing off the walls?

Creole Chicken & Rice

In the light of Kristen's son Kembert arriving from Haiti (hip, hip hooray!!!!), we are re-posting this amazing recipe!

Thank you for your prayers and support! You can see the coverage of Kembert's arrival on ABC here and in the OC Register here.

We have a fun, international recipe today that I've stolen from Christine's blog, which she adapted from a missionary to Haiti. It's a traditional Haitian meal and also really healthy.

4 chicken breasts

2 large tablespoons of tomato paste

4 cups of chicken broth

2 large chicken bouillon cubes

1 onion

1 green pepper

Thyme and Parsley tied together in a little bunch

2 cloves of garlic

1 leek

1 tsp of salt

cooked rice of choice

Cover chicken with about 6 cups of water, 2 bouillon cubes, and cook. Save broth for sauce. (when the chicken was done, I sat it aside and shredded it up). Mash together 2 or 3 garlic cloves, 1 small leek, and 1 tsp salt. (I ran all of this, including green pepper, through my little food processor - the kids will eat anything they cannot identify). Take 1/2 cup of of the broth and put into sauce pan and bring to a boil, add garlic/leek mixture and green pepper, cook 3 minutes, add tomato paste and cook for 3 to 5 minutes. Don't burn. Add 3 1/2 cups of chicken broth, parsley and thyme and hot pepper. Bring to boil and cook for 30 to 45 minutes until it starts to boil down a little bit and becomes less watery looking. Spoon over the rice.

SUNDAY GIVEAWAY: Night Owl Paper Goods calendar

Night Owl Papergoods is devoted to creating unique calendars, letterpress cards and other eco-friendly products. With a passion for fine craftsmanship and detail, the Night Owl line has quickly gained recognition for their one-of-a-kind approach to color, texture and pattern.

We think that their sustainably harvested birch wood calendars are fresh, modern and will give your desk instant flair. They manufacture their products using very little power and no water, and all products are made by hand in the USA. Visit their site to check out their entire line - we think you will give a hoot!

Night Owl Paper Goods is kindly offering our readers 10% off all orders containing at least one LOVE card, placed before the end of January! Simply select your LOVE cards, {in addition to calendars, journals and any other goodies you'd like} and enter the coupon code "mama" at check-out.

We will be giving away 2 calendars to 2 lucky mamas! Please answer the following question to be entered in this giveaway:

Are you a night owl or a morning person? When the night owl in you comes out, what are your favorite late night activities to get lost in while the rest of your house is peacefully slumbering?

How to earn additional entries:

1.) Become a follower on our blog (publicly) and leave another comment (or let us know if you already are).

2.) Subscribe to the Mama Memo by clicking here and leave another comment (or let us know if you already are).

3.) Blog about this giveaway- with a link back to here. Post YOUR blog entry first and then the comment.

4.) Add the Mama Manifesto button to your sidebar.

5.) Follow us on Twitter AND Tweet about this giveaway. TWEET- "Giveaway- win a Night Owl Paper Goods calendar from @MamaManifesto. Enter at mamamanifesto.com"

6.) Become a fan of Mama Manifesto on Facebook by clicking the button on the left!


[this giveaway will be closed on Saturday at 11 PM, & the winner will be announced next Sunday!]



And now, for the winner of last week's giveaway:
(((Stephanie)))


Congratulations! Shoot us an email by 1/31 to mamagiveaways(at)gmail(dot)com with your prize in the subject line, and we will hook you up! Keep checking back for more great giveaways!

Edible Play Dough

I saw this great post today on Make & Takes and had to share with our readers. My suggestion is NOT to do this activity on a day when you are craving sweets. I love that this is edible, because no matter what my sneaky kids eat the play dough they play with. The store bought kind is salty and nasty, but they eat it. Why they will sneak little bites of that, but refuse to eat bites of their dinner that certainly taste better is beyond me.

Play Dough You Will Actually Want To Eat

(from Make & Takes)

- 1 cup peanut butter
- 1/2 cup honey
- 2 cups powdered sugar

Mix ingredients in a bowl and you’re done! Store in an airtight container or plastic baggie with air sucked out of the bag. (Quick tip: Spray your 1/2 cup with oil before measuring your honey and the honey will pour much easier.)

This recipe had a great consistency! Of course, the more you play with it the softer it gets, but it was not sticky and it was just what I was expecting peanut butter playdough to be. The taste was okay. Any kid would think it was delicious. I thought it was a little too sweet, but again…it’s really for PLAYING, so it was perfect!

Talking to kids about tragedy

Talking to children about tragedy is a job most parents would love to avoid. If only our children did not need to hear about things like this week’s devastating earthquake in Haiti. But of course, they do hear. And they are full of questions: Could this happen to me? What’s going to happen to the children? Can I do anything to help the children I see on TV?

World Vision US, a Christian humanitarian relief organization with hundreds of staff on the ground in Haiti, suggests eight ways to make a tough job a little bit easier.

1. Start by listening.

Find out what your kids already know. You can then respond in an age-appropriate way. The aim is not to worry them with the devastating details, but to protect them from misinformation they may have heard from friends or disturbing images they may have seen on television.

2. Provide clear, simple answers.

Limit your answer to the question asked and use simple language.

3. If you don't know the answer, admit it

If your child asks a question that you can't answer, tell them so, and then do some research to try and help them sort it out. If they ask “Why did this have to happen?” don't be afraid to say “I don't know.” If you are part of a faith community, the reassurance offered there can be invaluable in helping your child sort through the awful truth that awful things happen.

4. Follow media reports or online updates privately.

Young children in particular are easily traumatized, and seeing or hearing about the horrifying details of the quake are more than they can cope with. Adults, too, should ensure they are dealing with their own emotions by talking to others, so they can continue to respond well to their children’s need.

5. Concentrate on making them feel safe.

When tragedies occur, children wonder if the same event could happen in their hometown. If it was an act of nature that could not be repeated in your area, tell children that. Placing themselves in the situations of victims is not all bad—it is a sign of empathy, an essential life skill, but watch for signs of excessive worrying.

6. Give children creative outlets.

Some children may not be prepared to speak about what they have heard, but may find drawing or other creative activities helpful to deal with their emotions and stress. Their drawings can be helpful starting points for conversation.

7. Model involvement and compassion.

Tell your child that, as a family, you will be helping the people in Haiti by giving a donation to a reputable charity such as World Vision.

8. Give your child a chance to be involved.

Being involved in the solution will help relieve some of their anxiety. Invite them to contribute to the family’s gift by giving something out of their piggy bank.

I tried.

Believe me, I tried. All day on Sunday. All day today. I tried to think of a good recipe to post. Monday is our "mama cooks" day. We like to share the tasty, healthy, kid-friendly recipes we have come across.

But, who can possibly think of food when all you can think of is ...

[Mark & Kristen's son, Kembert (aka "Keanan") in Haiti, being held in this photo by Diane Sawyer : watch the clip here]

and this ...

[Mark & Kristen on CNN, pleading for people to rally for Humanitarian Parole for the orphans in Haiti.]

and, this ...

now, I want you to imagine that in that video, instead of Mark & Kristen holding their son who is now miles away from them in a demolished country, instead of that being them, it's you. And, that child with those gigantic, beautiful eyes, that is YOUR child. And, though you love him more than you feel your heart can possibly hold, your love cannot keep him safe where he is right now. Imagine trying to sleep in your warm bed with your other 3 children down the hall.

Not complete.

Somethings missing.

We need your help. There are countless other families who are hoping, praying, and fighting to get THEIR children home as well. Please call your state representatives as soon as you can on Tuesday morning and plead for them to support Humanitarian Parole for the orphans in Haiti.

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" - Martin Luther King Jr.

To see an update from Kristen, go here.

SUNDAY GIVEAWAY: sarah + abraham

sarah + abraham is an online boutique specializing in children's stationary, birth announcements, and invitations, founded by talented designer Sara Tams. You will love the unique style, that is classic and simple, combining both vintage and modern inspirations. Orders are completely customized, and turnaround time is amazingly fast! We think the handy "mom calling cards" are especially fun.

sarah + abraham products make great gift ideas for babies, children, moms, and teachers... and just in time for Valentine's Day, Sara is offering a set of 24 adorable personalized valentines & coordinating return address labels to one lucky winner.

To be entered, leave us a comment answering the following question:

How important to you is the old-fashioned, hand-written thank you note?

How to earn additional entries:

1.) Become a follower on our blog (publicly) and leave another comment (or let us know if you already are).

2.) Subscribe to the Mama Memo by clicking here and leave another comment (or let us know if you already are).

3.) Blog about this giveaway- with a link back to here. Post YOUR blog entry first and then the comment.

4.) Add the Mama Manifesto button to your sidebar.

5.) Follow us on Twitter AND Tweet about this giveaway. TWEET- "Giveaway- win a set of 24 @sarahandabraham personalized valentines & return address labels from @MamaManifesto. Enter at mamamanifesto.com"

6.) Become a fan of Mama Manifesto on Facebook by clicking the button on the left!


[this giveaway will be closed on Saturday at 11 PM, & the winner will be announced next Sunday!]



And now, for the winner of last week's giveaway:
(((Lyndsea Tim Tim)))


Congratulations! Shoot us an email by 1/24 to mamagiveaways(at)gmail(dot)com with your prize in the subject line, and we will hook you up! Keep checking back for more great giveaways!

Help for Haiti

The earthquake that took place in Haiti earlier this week hit incredibly close to home. Kristen Howerton, one of our writers and co-founders of MM was there visiting her son she is in the process of adopting. The devastation is unimaginable. It is being compared to Hurricane Katrina, but without any of the infrastructure to begin the clean up process. Many people will be without food, water, etc.

We can help.

• Money is going to be the most useful way to tangibly help out. There are countless organizations that will be working to help re-build Haiti, but we are promoting World Wide Village simply because Kristen has worked with them, trusts them whole-heartedly and we know that every dollar donated will go to the people who need it most. We also would encourage you to consider donating to Heartline Minstries as they need to re-build their orphanage and birthing facilities.
• Pray. Continue to pray for people to be found alive in the collapsed buildings. For peace in the midst of the chaos. For people to remain calm and cool-headed as things get worse and water and food are scarce. For the children who are frightened. Even pray for the little things - that people would be able to sleep without fear.
• Contact your state representatives, and express your desire for the Haitian children in process of being adopted to receive Humanitarian Parole. It is absolutely absurd that there are families in the USA waiting to bring their children home, and those same children are in the midst of chaos without clean drinking water. Take a few moments to express this desire!

  
  

One Little Word

One of the mamas that we love is Ali Edwards, an amazing artist! She recently blogged about choosing "one little word", a word to focus on, mediate on, and reflect upon as we go about our daily lives.

Can you identify a single word that sums up what you want for yourself in 2010?

Ali Edwards says:

It can be something tangible or intangible. It could be a thought or a feeling or an emotion. It can be singular or plural. The key is to find something that has personal meaning for you. This is not your mother's word or your spouse's word or your child's word - this is YOUR word.

One little word can have big meaning in your life if you allow yourself to be open to the possibilities. And here's one thing that is totally interesting: sometimes a word will pop into your brain and it will not make any sense to you right now. Give it some time. Let it percolate a bit. I have often found that our hearts speak to us in very unique ways. Maybe this is a word you need to hear but just aren't ready for it yet. Again, be open to the possibilities.

What is your word, mamas? Find a place to display it to be reminded daily of what this could mean for 2010! If you blog about it, share the link in the comments so we can watch your journey unfold... If you want to take your one little word into action, you can go the extra mile and explore it with this "word of the year discovery tool".

My word for 2010 ...

proactive

News from Haiti

I want to update you all with the little information I know about Haiti and what is going on with Kristen & her baby Karis. We are asking that you continue to pray! Please pray that Kristen and Karis will be able to get home as soon as possible. The situation in Haiti is not good. There are bodies lining the streets (risk of disease spreading soon from these bodies decomposing), the palace has collapsed, there are many who are seriously wounded, and fear of diesel and food rations beginning soon. Kristen's baby is sick and has been vomiting for days. Flights are grounded and rumors are that many flights may not be operating again until February. We are looking into any and every option in order to get Kristen and her baby to a US city. If you have contacts that could help, please let us know.

To read Kristen's detailed account of what is going on, go to www.thehowertons.blogspot.com.

You can also follow the tweets that Troy Livesay is posting, which are being used in major news feeds because it is one of the only ways people can communicate.

Please pray. Email your friends, sisters, moms, dads, brothers, co-workers. Pray for the nation of Haiti. Pray for the wounded. Pray for relief. And, please join us in praying that Karis and Kristen would be home safe and sound with their "United States" family soon.

Thank you.

pray today

Please pray today for the nation of Haiti. There was a massive earthquake on Tuesday which has rocked the nation to its core. Also, please pray for Kristen, Mama Manifesto co-founder, as she is in Haiti right now visiting her son in the orphanage where he currently lives. Please pray for the safety of the staff, children, and of course Kristen and her children that are there with her.

We will update you as soon as we have news from Kristen.

Thank you, mamas!

{I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had absolutely no other place to go. -- Abraham Lincoln}

SUNDAY GIVEAWAY: Alice.com

We are excited to introduce Alice.com, an online marketplace designed to help save you time and money on many household essentials. Alice makes it easy to automate and manage your purchases, featuring competitive prices, free shipping, and budgeting tools. We especially love the feature that allows you to search exclusively for green & organic products.

Alice is offering a $50 credit to one lucky mama. To be entered, you must first create a free account here, then leave us a comment answering the following question:

What household product does your family go through the fastest?

Additionally, once you have created an account, feel free to take advantage of the Refer-A-Friend rewards program for even more savings!

How to earn additional entries:

1.) Become a follower on our blog (publicly) and leave another comment (or let us know if you already are).

2.) Subscribe to the Mama Memo by clicking here and leave another comment (or let us know if you already are).

3.) Blog about this giveaway- with a link back to here. Post YOUR blog entry first and then the comment.

4.) Add the Mama Manifesto button to your sidebar.

5.) Follow us on Twitter AND Tweet about this giveaway. TWEET- "Giveaway- win a $50 credit to online marketplace, Alice.com from @MamaManifesto. Enter at mamamanifesto.com"

6.) Become a fan of Mama Manifesto on Facebook by clicking the button on the left!


[this giveaway will be closed on Saturday at 11 PM, & the winner will be announced next Sunday!]



And now, for the winner of our Veggie Tales giveaway:

(((Donna)))


Congratulations! Shoot us an email by 1/17 to mamagiveaways(at)gmail(dot)com with your prize in the subject line, and we will hook you up! Keep checking back for more great giveaways!

mama love

We love the buzz of the New Year. Fresh Starts. Clean Slates. Even in our parenting. 2010 is looking bright, mamas.

We love Julie's "meh" post about daily life. I think we can all identify with this feeling. Sometimes blogging can bring pressure to be creative, funny, inspired, and there are many moments in the motherhood journey that are not all that creative, funny, inspired. Feels good to know we are not alone in our meh-ness. (It is totally a word.)

We love Isabel olivier's new fashion line. Long a favorite brand for moms-to-be, Isabel Olivier is branching out of the maternity niche and designing gorgeous, sophisticated pieces for all women. Their dresses feature luxurious fabrics and flattering draping for a night out on the town.

We love reader Jen's honest post about how motherhood affects our desire for physical touch. Can you relate?

We love Pirate's Booty! It's a healthy snack that most kids really like, and they have so many fun flavors. We just got to try their new pizza flavor, and my kids were hooked! It's got a great zing, and it's gluten and dairy free, for kids with allergies.

What Am I Doing Wrong Here??

There are so many days where, as a mom, I feel completely unequipped. I am often looking around and feeling like I am the ONLY mom fumbling this much and in so much chaos. I am the mom who forgets water bottles at playgroup, who forgets sunscreen at the beach, who forgets to pack lunch for preschool, who forgets the helmet at the skate park. I try very hard to overcompensate for this by being "intentionally organized". I know my weaknesses, and try very hard to plan for things well ahead of time. I set things out, I make lists. I prepack. I mapquest. But then there are some days where even with good planning, I feel like a doofus. Today was one of those days.

My kids and I like to walk a certain bike path that leads to the beach. There is another post where I outline the 47 things I need to prepack in order to make this a successful endeaveor. Lately, Jafta has been wanting to ride his bike on the path instead of sitting in the stroller. Sounded like a win-win to me. So we got him a new bike, and it's great. He's happy. I'm happy. Let's do this every day!!

We set out for this routine today, and I came prepared. The kids were suncreened, I remembered the sand toys and helmet, and I even brought some snacks. But our walk takes a very bad turn about a mile in, when Jafta rides his bike through a HUGE pile of dog poop. There is now dog poop covering his bike. It is caked between every ridge on each wheel, and it's kicking up as he rides, and covering his seat and legs. I am mortified. I try to get it off by running the wheels through the sand, or by hitting it with a rock, but this poop is staying put. We have no choice but to keep going. Maybe it will come off as he rides, I think.

Well, yes, it does come off as he rides. In very small pieces that kick up from the tires and hit both India and I in the face. My walk is now a frogger game where I am trying to avoid being hit by a hailstorm of dog feces. But we carry on, because damnit, we're going to the beach. (And I know the demon-possessed 3-year-old tantrum that would ensue if we turned back now). We arrive at our destination, where I realize I've forgotten the bike lock for Jafta's bike. So I hide his 5-day-old bike in the bushes and hope that the poop will deter any would-be bike thieves.

We head down to the beach and there are tons of little tide pools. Now, I have a strict "stay away from the water" policy on these walks because I don't like being outnumbered by two non-swimmers near the ocean. But the tidepools looks so welcoming, and my kids are so excited, and . . . what's the harm?

So my kids start playing in the tidepools and I suddenly realize they are getting soaked and we have a 2-mile walk back to the car and no change of clothes. Oops. Naartjie clothes may be made of amazing cotton but boy it does not dry well. As we finish and load into the stroller, I realize I need to take the kid's dripping clothes off. So I have a diapered baby in the stroller, who was only sunblocked according to her outfit. Her pasty white stomach and legs are now unprotected. And I have a 3-year-old ready to ride a bike in his underwear. And I think to myself, surely this kind of thing does not happen to other moms.

Fortuntely the bike is still there, unfortunately still covered in poop. Which is now compounded by the fact that Jafta has on wet underwear (only) and about 1/3 cup of sand stuck between his butt cheeks. He is not liking this sensation at all, so halfway down the bike path we have to stop while I take his underwear off and try to remove said sand from his butt crack. By spreading his butt cheeks and wiping with my bare hand. In front of approximately 20 people. I am just wishing for a pressure hose to appear from the skies at this point, to hose off this sand and poop. We have another mile to go.

Jafta gets tired and doesn't want to ride his bike anymore. Starts crying. Loudly. I start yelling. Loudly. "KEEP GOING, JAFTA". He starts falling on purpose, because he doesn't want to keep going. This gets more poop on him. Every time he falls, I chastise him. We are a mess. People are staring. I have two children in their underwear, and I am only thinking about getting back to that car. I practically cattle-prod Jafta for the next mile, with both kids screaming, and seriously wondering. . . . what am I doing wrong? Do other moms have days like this??

The grand finale is realizing that I have to somehow get the poop bike into the back of our SUV to get it home. I seriously think about traumatizing my son further by leaving the bike in the parking lot, but finally decide to suck it up and load the bike in the back. I dry heave the entire ride home, as the smell of fecal matter permeates the car.

-kh

The Ups and Downs of Blogging

I have a love/hate relationship with this whole blogging thing.

What I love:

Humanity on display. I feel like we live in a culture (or at least I live in this culture in Southern California) where people really try to "keep it together" and appear as though everything is great. I had this awkward interaction with my grocery store checkout person a week or so ago where I did the standard, smile, make eye contact and say, "Hi. How are you?" What was I expecting? The standard, "Great. And you?" Or, "Fine thanks." etc. etc. What I was NOT expecting, was for her to respond with tears in her eyes and say, "I am hanging in there. My grandfather passed away yesterday and I am feeling it today." I was so shocked by hearing true, authentic words come forth that it took me a few seconds before I could respond. This is not the norm.

But, the blogging world is that place that I can read how women are dealing with tantrums and infertility and doldrums in their marriages and fears about their children's development and how motherhood maybe is not all that they imagined it to be. I love the raw stream of consciousness goodness that allows me to walk away feeling very much not alone in life. I love that I get to laugh out loud while reading of someone else's escapades that could very well have been my own on another day. I get the reassurance of knowing that everyone has hard days where they do not like their kids. And, I get that sappy, sweet emotional feeling reading about another mother's big, big, "my heart is breaking open because this love is just too big", love for her children. It is a spot at the lunch table in the cafeteria where you are understood, and you are welcome.

It gives me a sense of completion. Some days it feels like I am living out my own twisted version of "Ground Hog's Day" [you know, that movie with Bill Murray where he wakes up every morning in the same day that was yesterday -- same song on the clock radio, same snow storm, same interactions with the same people around him, etc.] It sometimes feels like I have the same plot every day where I prepare the same foods, clean up the same messes and have the same list of uncompleted tasks looming over me. Everytime I publish a post I get this sense of completion. Done. Check. Ahhhhhhh...

Resources, Oh Resources. I love that I get to glean from other moms out there. Looking for some sewing projects? Looking for a craft idea? Looking for someone dealing with sleep issues? Looking for a daily dose of sarcasm? Oh, how I love the internet for this little gift!

What I DO NOT love:

The blogging worm hole. It never fails. I go online to write something really quickly, or to read one of my favorite blogs really quickly and three hours later I am battling a stiff neck, it is now dark in the house and I have zoned out on the kids jumping from couch to couch. There is a total worm hole that I get sucked into as I go from blog to blog and it is madness, I tell you! There is just so much good stuff to read out there.

Insecurity. Blogging provokes two kinds of insecurity in me. The first is when you pour your heart out and share something really vulnerable and then you know people are reading it, but no one comments. I am left wondering if they read it and laughed at me, cried with me, stopped reading half way through with a yawn, etc. I am totally guilty of the same thing because there are many blogs that I read that I do not leave comments on. I know, total hypocrite. But, I still cannot help but feel a little rejected when I do not get comments back on certain posts. The second source of insecurity comes from my blog comparisons. It comes when I start comparing how many comments other blogs are getting vs. ours, or how much advertising other blogs get, or how many subscribers they have, or their savvy web design, etc. Blog comparison is like how I compare my parenting or appearance or anything else in my life that is personal to me. I can quickly spin myself into a melancholy place where I feel quite less than. Just being honest.

Blogging ADD. This is what happens to me. I am walking along through life and something happens that is just the perfect thing to blog about. I then rush to go jot it down so that I can remember it and forget what I was doing before I got the blogging inspiration in the first place. I am having to remind myself lately that sometimes I need to simply be present wherever I am and to shut off the obsession thoughts I have about our blog.

As with every love/hate relationship in life, I am trying to embrace the good and learn to minimize the bad. I really wish that I had known about this whole blogging thing when I was in the midst of my infertility struggles. I remember feeling so alone, so awkward around my pregnant friends. It was a really dark season for me. I am thankful that many of the women walking that road now have so many people sharing their own journeys vulnerably.

I hope that if you are mom out there feeling alone or frustrated or just a tad weary in this whole motherhood thing, I hope that you will sit down at our table. Welcome.

A Plant Momaphor

I've never been able to keep a plant alive.

It's not that I forget about the plant, ignore it, leaving it thirsty. It's more like I over think it, water it too often, and prune it too much.

I'm a recovering control freak.

I thought about this today as I (conservatively) pruned a plant of ours that's been living a record amount of time in my care. This plant was given to me after my Grandpa died, and I was afraid from the start that I'd kill it. The difference this time is that I'm being less careful. I'm holding back when I start to worry if I'm doing it just right. Should I water it again, does it seem droopy, the edges of the leaves are getting a little brown, maybe I should move it....

No, I say to myself. It's fine, it'll be fine. I've simply been letting it live, even when a little brown colors the corners of it's leaves.



Quite a metaphor for life, I think. I so often want to panic or jump ahead or fix things before they need fixing. In motherhood, I'm probably a bit hyper-vigilant, calling the doctor before I really even know if there's a problem, or discussing what to do about this or that endlessly with my husband. Like any mother, I mull over how I can shelter my boys from pain, or I work really hard at relieving that pain when it rears it's inevitable head. I've been learning slowly to have more of a go-with-the-flow approach to parenting, but when fears creep in, I have a tendency to over-think things. Of course, these boys mean so much to me, I sometimes mistake controlling their world as a form of love.

That's when I find myself with that familiar non-green thumb impulsivity welling up in me, when I feel the need to grab the watering can and scissors and take care of business, thinking I'm the only one on the planet that knows exactly what to do and how to do it. A person can really screw things up that way, controlling the life right out of things, people, decisions, stealing away what the experience or lesson was meant to be.

This one has a whole lot of brown at the top, I better take care of that. Snip. This one's a little yellow, only I know exactly where to cut it. Snip. This one's probably killing the plant. Snip. I have to help get it just right or we'll be wrong, snip snip snip...

until there's nothing left,
no growing or flourishing,
no sprouting out of the ground and reaching toward the sun.
No life.

I believe my boys will be watered and pruned exactly as they should be, even with a little brown around the edges of their leaves, the color of fear, mistakes, and pain. Letting go of control means trusting that the brown will be pruned away in it's own time, no matter how green I think my thumb is, and despite the thousands of unknowns that loom over my 'plants.'


The plant I was given after my Grandfather's funeral means more to me than any plant I've ever had. I suppose that's why I hold back on all that extra watering and pruning. I've learned the hard way what happens when I do that, and this plant means too much to allow myself to get in the way. This time, I'm simply meeting it's basic needs and stepping back.

I guess that's what I'm trying to learn as a mother too, holding myself back and allowing my little plants to flourish, to live and learn, because they mean so much to me. Sometimes that's terrifying, even now in these early years, and I know it's only going to get harder. But I suppose that means I'm truly living too, all that brown around my leaves getting pruned away.

Snip.



Heather writes at The Extraordinary Ordinary

TALK BACK: the present of presence

I'm not really making a bunch of resolutions this year. I'm starting out the year running my first half-marathon, so I'm feeling pretty proud of myself, and not looking to make more goals involving self-discipline or achievement. I am wanting to make some changes, though, and it's tricky because the changes I need to make really revolve around NOT checking things off of a list. I have an incessant need to feel a sense of achievement or completion each day. I was poking fun at this tendency of mine in yesterday's post, but in reality I know that this is an area where I need some serious growth. I can spend hours of my time trying to tick items off of my to-do list. I have a hard time relaxing. Just sitting and enjoying my children is difficult for me. After a few minutes of playing ponies or peek-a-boo, my eyes start wandering to the scattered toys or the overflowing laundry bin or the list of people I need to call. I am constantly distracted by a sense that I should be doing something important. Unfortunately in my unconscious value system, just being with my kids does not seem important enough. Cognivitely, I don't feel this way. I want to give myself permission to just sit and really "be" with my kids. Somehow I have a hard time translating that desire into my everyday behavior.

So . . . my resolve for the coming year is to figure out how to put that into practice. I want to achieve less. To get less done. To complete fewer tasks. I want to put mothering on the top of my to-do list, and I want to live in a way that reflects that priority. This priority:


What are your resolutions for this year? Are you a task person, or a process person? Do you need growth in getting things done, or are you hoping to simplify?

the perfect mama cooks bookmark

Real Simple created the top 20 readers' favorite recipes of 2009 list. Bookmark this site and visit it when you need inspiration!

I cannot wait to make these pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese frosting! And these stuffed chicken breasts with tomato salad. Well, pretty much everything. Enjoy, mamas.