mama manifesto is going to blogher

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

The first rule about blogging is, you don't blog about blogging.

However, it is Blogher season. 

Have you ever been in a conversation where someone assumes that you are as into something as they are?  Perhaps it's Lord of the Rings.  You acknowledge having seen the movie and enjoyed it, and suddenly you find yourself in the middle of an awkward, hour-long conversation where that someone goes on and on about details that you could really care less about.  And you find yourself thinking, yeah, I don't care which Tolkien language is the best and no, I haven't given thought as to which part of middle earth I would live in, and WOAH, YOU ARE WAY TOO INTO THIS.  GET A LIFE.

This is what my blog might be like for the next few days. 

Because on Thursday thousands of very serious bloggers will converge for the Mecca of the blogging world: the Blogher Conference 2010.  (Or #blogher10, if you will).

In New York City.  dun dun dun DUN!

I've never been to this conference before.  But oh, I've heard tell.  The drama.  The egos.  The social posturing.  The politics.  The parties.  The private invites, the rejections, the corporate deals, the free stuff, the cat-fights over swag, the celebrities, the drinking, the dancing, the tattoos, the time Mike Tyson's tiger was found in Dooce's hotel bathroom . . .

It's crazy, ya'll.

It seems like everyone on twitter is talking about the conference.  And the topic of conversation: clothes and shoes and losing weight.  You'd think we were all attending some sort of a beauty pageant.  As opposed to a conference FULL OF WOMEN.  Women who sit with a laptop on their lap most of the day.  Who probably don't spend a lot of time fussing with their hair (or slipping out of their pajamas).  I'm really not sure who we are trying to fool.  It sort of reminds me of the women who wear burqas all day but then have a party with their female friends and whip out their western-style dresses and Loreal eyeshadow quads.

(No joke. While in Forever 21 yesterday I saw a woman in a burqa buying a strapless satin turquiose number).

But of course, I've been swept up in the madness, and  I've been furiously trying to groom and shop and break in shoes that are sure to make my feet bleed.  So I can go and impress 2000+ women who are also doing the same.

It is a bizarre alternative universe, this blogging world, where corporations are courting stay-at-home moms, and where the amount of traffic or comments you get in a day somehow moves you up the social totem pole.  I am going to try my best to keep it in perspective, and to not get caught up in the madness, and to remember that most of the people I love the most are completely unimpressed by this whole blogging thing, and haven't a clue who Ree Drummond is.


Ahem. Perspective. 

Honestly, I am most excited about hanging out with some of the gals I got to meet at the Casual Blogger's Conference.  I am also thrilled to be meeting (and sleeping with) Christine Moers - fellow adoptive mom and someone who feels like an old friend even though we've never met.  I am already giving myself peop talks about my need for impulse control around Christine - because my impulse is to drag her into a corner and make her hold me and stroke my hair while I sob into her shoulder for half the weekend.  There are also some bloggers who I really admire that I'm hoping I can fawn over chat with. 

I am already stressed out by the packed schedule.  This is supposed to be a conference but I am quickly learning that parties and network take precedence to any actual lectures that one may or may not attend.  There is no way I can fit in everything I'd like to do. I've been rsvp'ing to parties left and right because - well because that's what someone else recommended to do.  So I did.  And tonight I sat down to try to piece together some sort of agenda/game plan for myself, and realized that on Thursday night alone I have rsvp'd for five simultaneous parties. So yeah, not sure how that will all pan out.  I keep telling myself to just keep flexible and to go with the flow.  Luckily those things come easily for me.  (Stop laughing, Mark).

I am stoked that a couple of brands have come to my rescue in the comfortable shoe/cocktail attire quandry.  David's Bridal in New York is going to be helping me choose two dressesn for the parties - which sounds like a lot of fun. They have quite a line of cute, non-bridesmaid cocktail dresses.  Who knew?  I'm secretly hoping for one of these numbers:

Puma gave me some really cute casual shoes for hoofing it on the streets of New York, and Ariat sent me some great sandals that can be worn with jeans or a dress without causing me to limp by the end of the day. Oh, and the awesome Team Sparkle is hooking me up with my tutu for the Tutus for Tanner benefit - a cause inspired by Catherine's nephew Tanner who is battling Muscular Dystrophy.

I am trying not to let the nerves get the best of me, but I am feeling a little anxious.  I may have mentioned that I'm a wee bit introverted?  And horrible at chit-chat?  So that could be an interesting combo.  I'm also up for a couple of things that are a bit intimidating.  I got that interview with Project Mom Casting that I was hoping for (YAY and OMG HELP).  I'm up for a Blogluxe award.  (Spoiler alert: The Blogess will win.  As she should.)  But it really was an honor just to be nominated.  (I've been waiting my whole life to say that.  But perhaps not in this context).  I'm also being honored as a finalist in Blogher's Voice of the Year.  So . . . all really, really fun things. Fun things that sort of make me feel like I'm gonna hurl.

I think I will have a couple saving graces for my sanity this weekend.  First: I'm seeing some shows.  I'm seeing Fela on Thursday - they were kind enough to offer some great seats to a few bloggers and I've been dying to see this one.  Knowing myself, I will probably spend Sunday trying to fit in two more shows.  It just seems a crime to be in New York for five days and not see a show each night - so the Sunday double feature is my goal.  I may be doing this alone.  And that's okay.

I'm also hosting a bit in the Serenity Suite - a sort of safe haven from the madness that is open to anyone at the conference.  I will be there at 11ish on both Friday and Saturday.  If you are there, come by and say hi.  And if you are interested in talking with some adoptive mamas. come by our Birds of a Feather table at lunch on Saturday.

And if you are going to this conference and see me, please say hello.  I really would like to meet you - please don't mistake my deer-in-headlights expression for aloofness.  In case you want to find me, I look like this:

 Okay, that is a seriously flattering photo of me. At the conference, I will look more like this:

Please note the bags under my eyes, the obligatory special event breakout, the butchered bangs, the double chin from eating crappy hotel food all week, the food stuck in my teeth, and the stain on my shirt.

And if you are really, really wanting to meet up (because I've heard that it is nearly impossible to intentionally run into anyone with this many people) then leave your contact info below.

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