[warning: this post talks about poop. A lot.]
I am a true night owl. I get my bursts of energy right around 10 PM. Sometimes 11. Makes for fun blog reading in a sleepy house, but does not make for the early morning chitter chatter that comes from my two kids who truly have the internal clocks of roosters. Their room has blackout curtains glued to the interior of their floor length curtains AND velcroed to the wall so that the smallest amount of sunshine possible can peep through. And yet, they are up quite early. They aren't just up - they are chipper. They are loud. They are giggly and full of energy.
Typically, they saunter into my room and say the same thing nearly every morning:
"Mama - we're up. It's morning. We're hungry. Please get up with us."
Typically, I respond with encouragement to go enjoy a few more minutes of quiet time in their room reading or playing quietly while I enjoy a few more minutes of quiet time to "rest my eyes".
(If only there was a pause button for these early mornings to get a few more minutes of precious, sweet, amazing slumber.)
I am constantly trying to get to bed earlier and re-train my "night owl" body to be a chipper early "morning bird". It really would make life so much easier. Oh how I would love to wake up in the morning excited about sunshine and a day of activity. Oh how lovely it would be to not have my head rattle with the cheerful noises (very loud) of my children who start their day at a level 10. It would be nice to have senses that are alert and awake before 11 AM. I've tried alarm clocks but I tend to sleep through alarms unless it is really important (like needing to be at the airport very early), and in that case, I hardly sleep at all because I am so nervous I will sleep through the alarm.
Today, however, was a different story.
My kids entered my room, but the morning greeting was a little different today:
daughter: "Mama - Callen's bum smells really bad. Really bad."
son: "It does, Mom. It smells very bad."
me: sitting up straight with eyes open - "Okay, stay where you are."
daughter: "Oh no - there are little brown pieces on Callen's foot."
And, I am up and running. Yes, he somehow pooped his pants in the night and did not notice that it was the largest quantity of poop he has ever pooped in his life. He is 4, people. He has been potty trained for a while. How does one not notice that they have a large load of disgustingness in their drawers? How does one not notice it falling down their legs and out the bottom of their pajama pants as they walk across the house? How does one not notice that they are stepping in it and tracking it through the house?
To all of these questions, I have no answer. I do know that a "poop alarm" works very well for even the most sleepy headed mothers. I just cannot quite figure out the marketing piece to it.