WFMW: extending the life of the dress

My daughter has several cute dresses from last summer that were just a little too short for this year. She is always a girl on-the-go, and prone to showing her undies to the world. I needed a solution for modesty, and to keep some of her dresses in the rotation, and I found this solution on etsy. I'm not sure what you call them in your parts - knickers? bloomers? pantaloons? Whatever they are called, I ordered them in three colors, and she wears them every day, which saved dozes of dresses from going into the hand-me-down bin.

Talk Back: Halloween ideas?

What are your Halloween traditions? What are your kids going to be? Are you dressing up too?

Homemade Mac & Cheese

Ingredients:

2 cups shell or elbow macaroni (or other small pasta)

1/4 c each grated sharp Cheddar, Monterey Jack, and Provolone cheese

1/2 cup sour cream

1 (15 ounce) can diced stewed tomatoes, drained

1 tablespoon unsalted butter

2 teaspoons fresh oregano

*sometimes I add a few strips of turkey bacon across the top.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cook macaroni according to package instructions, drain and transfer to a 4-cup casserole dish. Stir in remaining ingredients and bake until bubbling, about 30 minutes.

Friday Giveaway: Nature's Call Natural Deodorizer

You wipe your bathroom surfaces with organic cleaner, you stock your bathroom with organic soap, you use organic toilet paper, but something else is not in sync: the aerosol spray you use after you go to the bathroom. It's full of harsh chemicals that are not good for you or the environment!

Introducing "Nature's Call," an all new organic bathroom spray by Poo-Pourri. Nature's Call is sprayed directly into the toilet bowl before you "go" to trap and eradicate embarrassing odors at the source. Poo-Pourri Nature's Call is a natural blend of Organic essential oils that do more than just improve air quality - it is environmentally friendly, safe for your septic tank and the planet. Nature's Call is a fresh citrus blend of Organic essential oils, including lemongrass, orange and grapefruit to leave the bathroom smelling clean and fresh. It is available in a 2 oz. size (up to 100 uses) and a 4 oz. size (up to 200 uses).

One lucky mama will get to try "Nature's Call" for themselves. Leave us a comment answering the following question to be entered to win:

"What is your most memorable poop story?"

How to Get Extra Entries:
***When you enter an extra entry you must post a *separate comment* for each entry, sorry but we can’t keep track of extra entries unless you do this. ***
1 digg and 1 stumble by clicking on this article and submitting the buttons at the bottom for digg and stumble
2 join our Mama Memo mailing list by clicking here
3 join our facebook network by clicking here
4 put our blog in your blogroll or link list and leave a comment with the link to your blog

[this giveaway will be closed on Thursday, October 1st, at 11 PM, & the winner will be announced next Friday!]

And now, for the winners of last week's Natural Dental Products giveaway:

((Kathleen W))

((Suzannah))

((Kristie))

((Meg))

((Andrea V))

I *Don't Heart* Begging Fundraising

The following post comes from Dionne over at Pot Liquor. I have to say, I can really relate to her feelings. How about you?


I need to vent...

I hate school fundraisers!

A bit hypocritical, I know. I am, after all, a teacher. I guess you could say I represent the very institutions that endorse this kind of exploitation, which underpins much of public schools' enrichment programs. I realize that the budget is lean and that earnings from fundraisers directly prop-up underfunded arts programs. Parents' pocket books are perhaps a direct lifeline to most of the enrichment that takes place in public education today. Nevertheless, my scorn towards fundsponging simmers and I'm sure it will be at full boil come fundraiser's end.
My kindergartner has been in school for all of 14 days and already her school is sending home the dreaded beggar's dossiers. I oppose this kind of manipulation: fundraising that basically amounts to pimping out children to mega corporations in the name of subsidizing public school enrichment programs. But truth be told, our children are not really the ones being pimped, are they?

Let's face facts: I am the one that's really on the hoe stroll here. Since Sadia is only 4 years old, I am the one literally wading through tupperware/ portrait/ wrapping paper/ pizza stick/ calendar/ magazine/ candy sale booklets. I am the one who will put friends/ neighbors/ family members/ co-workers in the awkward position of having to dodge the sales pitch. I am the one who has to study the catalogues, do all of the accounting, reconcile each line item, promote the consumption of ridiculously overpriced products, and pound the pavement. I am the one who has to get on the phone and "remind" gracious donors who neglect to pony up. Then, I am the one who has to drag out my purse when it comes time to underwrite that big fat conciliatory check to balance lopsided calculations. And if I am the one that has to do all of the work, then what the heck is the point?

You know that circus performer who balances spinning plates on sticks, and juggles pins all while he balances on a unicycle? That's how my child's school fundraiser makes me feel.

I am frustrated by those bogus incentive schemes that lean on mother daughter relationships. Cheap, brightly-colored, plastic toys in no way justify what children across the nation are being asked to do: panhandle. How do I explain things like "overhead" and "profit margins" to a 4 year-old-- who values nickels over dollars because nickels are "shinnier"?

I can't win pitted against the guilt laiden rants that result when kids don't get to ride in the limo because they didn't meet a sales quota. I simply won't compete with the brainwashing that promotes toys like the Shake Wobbler Noise Pen, that can only be redeemed if children sell $199.99 worth of junk.

I don't mind giving money to my child's school. At the start of the year, I bought school supplies to help off set Sadia's teacher's out of pocket costs. What's great about this kind of giving is I know 100% of my money goes directly to the school, whereas with fundraisers only a fraction of the proceeds go to schools.

What about you? Where do you stand on the issue of children fundraising for schools? Are you buying in to it?

WFMW: Eating out as a family

We get it. Even when we have an empty fridge, the idea of eating out often just feels wrong. We hate that our kids are eating "fast food", and we hate the toll on the budget. Fret no more. We have a couple of options that will work for you when you need to get the family out for dinner.

Chick-fil-A is one of our favorite options for fast food, and the food and price are both guilt-free. Chick-fil-A's chicken is fried in 100% fully refined peanut oil, which is both cholesterol and trans fat free. They also offers grilled sandwiches, wheat buns, and salads as well. Their Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich has only 260 calories and 3 grams of fat.

But the best bonus: Chick-fil-a restaraunts offer a Kids Night where kids eat free. That’s right. Most stores offer a promotion of a free Kids meal (meal option depends on location) with the purchase of an adult meal. With the adult meals ranging from $6.00-$9.00, you can all eat out for a reasonable price. Most Chick-fil-A’s also put on special events and activities during Kids' Nights, making it not only a budget saving dinner, but a fun activity for your whole family. Our own local Chick-fil-A, for example, is putting on a Prince and Princess Night for Kids on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 from 5:00-7:00 pm, with special guest Snow White.

If you are looking for a splurge and want a bit of ambience with your meal, check out PF Chang's. This has always been a favorite of ours, because the food is amazing and the decor always puts a smile on my face. They just launched a new kid's menu, and every item is under $5! We went with our kids recently, and they loved it. I was excited because it felt like we were having a nicer meal without breaking the bank. My kids loved the honey dipping sauce that came with their chicken, and the restaurant seemed bustling enough that I didn't feel awkward when they got a little excited.

What restaurants do you enjoy with the whole family in tow?

Talk Back: You kiss your mother with that mouth?

@#$$!!

We've all been in this scenario... it's you with your kiddos and somewhere nearby there are people (business men, teenagers, girls out for a girl's night...) talking away. They are loud and they are using, ahem, colorful language.

How do you respond? Do you move away out of ear shot, do you ignore it, or do you ask them to be respectful of young ears?

If it's Good Enough for Oprah...

This is one of our all time favorite recipes, so we have to share it again!

Don't you hate it when you are watching a cooking show in the middle of the afternoon, or a show featuring an amazing recipe, and you suddenly have to have that food item for dinner NO MATTER WHAT?! Well, thankfully, the latest occurrence of this in my home was something that I actually had most of the ingredients to make!

Oprah had her Favorite Things For Summer episode the other day and shared that she had recently had the best turkey burger of her life, ever (and she is like fifty something so this got my attention), at "The Donald's" Mar-a-Lago Resort. The executive chef shared his recipe, which you can find here.

I made my own version of it using what I had on hand, and it was for sure the best burger I have ever had. My husband agreed. I made them again for some friends over the weekend, and it got raving reviews. I definitely recommend this recipe very highly!

Here is my version of Turkey Burgers with a Little Chutney Flair:

INGREDIENTS (makes approximately 6 burgers)
1 clove of garlic, finely diced

1 onion, finely chopped

1 sweet yellow bell pepper, finely chopped (the chef uses celery, but I did not have it on hand so I substituted the bell pepper)

1 Granny Smith apple, finely diced
olive oil for sauteeing

1 pound ground turkey breast
1/2 Tbsp. black pepper
about 2 Tbsp. lemon juice
1/4 bunch parsley, finely chopped (or dried - maybe about 1 Tbsp.)
1/2 cup Major Grey's Chutney, pureed [i actually used Trader Joe's Apple Cranberry Chutney and did not puree it! I liked it in the burgers like that.]

Sauté the garlic, onion, peppers and apples in the olive oil until tender. Let cool.

Place the ground turkey in a large mixing bowl. Add sautéed items and the remaining ingredients, mix well. Shape into six burgers. Refrigerate for 2 hours! You still have to handle them with care on the grill, but if you do not refrigerate them, they will totally fall apart!

Season the turkey burgers with salt and pepper. Place on a preheated, lightly oiled grill. Grill each side for 7 minutes until meat is thoroughly cooked. Let sit for 5 minutes.

Serve with a side of Chutney and your favorite toasted bread, pita or hamburger roll.

I served mine with a side of salad greens, and these super yummy grilled apricot jam sandwiches that my husband grew up eating in South Africa. These are such a yummy thing to make as a side dish to any grilled meat dish! It sounds strange, but the sweet, smoky flavor is so good.

To make these sandwiches, just take ezekiel sprouted whole grain bread (or another hearty bread), and make apricot jam sandwiches with the jam in the middle and both outside slices of bread buttered. Throw them on the grill for about 2-3 minutes on each side, or whenever the bread is toasted like you like it from the grill. Serve them warm!

I am very excited about grilling season ... post your grill friendly recipes in the comments section... I know there have to be some amazing marinades and grill recipes that I have not tried yet! Share the love so that we can avoid using our ovens all summer long!

-ab

pooping for Disney

The backstory: I have been trying to potty train India for five months now. She has done really well getting the #1 part down. She hasn't had an accident in months and does really well at home and at school. The #2 though . . . not so much. I know that she has control over it, though. She doesn't really have accidents, she just waits until naptime every day when I put her in a diaper. (She is very regular). Every day for weeks now, we go through this routine where I put her in a diaper, leave the room, and come back in ten minutes later to change her poopy diaper.


Over it.


I know she has control over it, but is just refusing to go on the potty because she is a) stubborn or b) freaked out by the potty. I've been trying to strategize how to remedy the situation. I had ideas about leaving her naked on a plastic sheet during the nap, or putting a small toilet on the bed, or skipping the nap altogether for a few days. Yesterday, she did skip the nap, and by dinnertime she had a grimace and was walking a little funny. I knew she had to go #2. She peed several times, and each time I acted like a cheerleader, trying to get her to make a deposit in the toilet. She informed me that she would not be pooping in the toilet.


Until . . .

POOPING FOR DISNEY

a play in one act

(inspired by true events)

A young girl is seated on the potty. Her mother is seated nearby.

MOMMY: India, why don't you try to put a poop in the potty.

INDIA: No. I don't want to.

MOMMY: You're a big girl now, and big girls go poop on the potty. Gabriella and Sharpay go poop on the potty.

INDIA: No. I don't want to.

MOMMY: If you put a poop in the potty, you can open the box with your new Tinkerbell shoes and wear them all day tomorrow.

INDIA: No. I don't want to.

MOMMY: (thinking back to India's daily dinnertime prayers thanking the Lord for her family and Disneyland) I have an idea. How about if you put a poop in the potty we can go to Disneyland?

INDIA: Disneyland????????

(cue pooping sounds)

MOMMY: (weeping tears of joy and disbelief) INDIA!!! You did it!! I'm so proud of you! Daddy, look! She did it! She went poop in the potty!

INDIA: I pooped in the potty and now I get to go to Disneyland!

JAFTA: (entering room after overhearing) What? I wanna poop and go to Disney!

Jafta physically pushes India off of potty and sits down himself. Commence forcible pushing and grunting

JAFTA: (strained) I can do it, too! I'm gonna poop, too!

MOMMY: Jafta, no. Wait, honey, stop. You don't need to . . .

JAFTA: I'm gonna poop so I can go to Disney!

MOMMY: Jafta, stop. You're gonna hurt . . .

JAFTA: (grunting like a woman in childbirth) UGH! Ungh. Errr. AUGH.

Daddy enters room, alarmed.

DADDY: Kristen, make him stop. He's gonna give himself a hernia.

KRISTEN: You mean a hemorrhoid?

DADDY: Kristen, make him stop. He's gonna give himself a hemorrhoid.

JAFTA: Ughhhhh! Grrrrr. I can do it. I can . . .

KRISTEN: Jafta, stop!

*plop*

JAFTA: Yes! I can go! I can go to Disney!

KRISTEN: Jafta, you didn't need to . . .

*plop*

JAFTA: More poop! That means I get to go to even more places!

INDIA: (pushing Jafta) I wanna poop more! I wanna poop more!

and scene.

Guess where we're going tomorrow?

Friday Giveaway: Natural Dentist Products

Why use natural oral care products?
People are so concerned with what they eat and put on their skin and in their hair, but there is little attention to the fact they are putting chemicals into their mouths two times a day (we hope) by using regular toothpastes and mouth rinses. There are natural oral care alternatives that work just as well as non-natural brands without alcohol, harsh chemicals, artificial sweeteners, preservatives, detergents, bleach, or dyes.
The Natural Dentist is an all-natural oral care company, built on uniquely powerful, clinically proven natural mouth rinse and toothpaste formulations

• Their products provide superior performance – cleaning, whitening, cavity prevention, and fresh breath
• Contain natural ingredients for healthy teeth and gums
• Grapefruit seed extract and menthol cleanse the mouth
• Peppermint and sage oils help prevent gingivitis and reduce/prevent plaque
• Bamboo powder is used for whitening and stain removal
• Aloe vera gel for soothing gums and keeping the mouth healthy
• Contain Xylitol (10%), a dentist-recommended natural cleansing agent and sweetener sourced from corn wood (corn cobs)
• Offer Fluoride for cavity prevention (and a fluoride-free options too)

The Natural Dentist is going to give 5 lucky mamas the chance to try one of their products. To be entered in this giveaway, please visit The Natural Dentist site, and leave a comment telling us which product you would most like to try!

How to Get Extra Entries:
***When you enter an extra entry you must post a *separate comment* for each entry, sorry but we can’t keep track of extra entries unless you do this. ***
1 digg and 1 stumble by clicking on this article and submitting the buttons at the bottom for digg and stumble
2 join our Mama Memo mailing list by clicking here
3 join our facebook network by clicking here
4 put our blog in your blogroll or link list and leave a comment with the link to your blog

[this giveaway will be closed on Thursday, September 24th, at 11 PM, & the winner will be announced next Friday!]

And now, for the winner of last week's giveaway:

(((Heather from Cookie Mondays)))

and for the winner of our Twitter Contest:

(((Thee Baby Lady)))

Congratulations! Shoot us an email in the next two weeks and we will hook you up.

The Witching Hours

I'm helping Asher because he's eating a snack right before dinner and it's messy and it's everywhere. I take a towel and wipe his face and the towel gets all gooey so I throw it down the stairs. I'll wash it later with the rest.

I pick him up and think about how heavy he's getting and we wash silky smooth hands at the kitchen sink. He starts to say fish, fish, fish, over and over while he watches the fish in the window above the sink. I need to feed the fish, I think.

He's begging and so I say no gum you just had some, as I pinch fish food. He cries with that deep crinkling line between his brows and my heart hurts but he still just had gum.

There's a mess on the floor from the late snack so I sweep it. I hurry because I hear loud sounds from the movie in the living room and I wonder if it's too scary and I should go check.

It's not actually night at all, but I've started Movie Night early, making it Movie Afternoon because I'm tired. The loud growling sounds are from Beauty and the Beast and I should sit with Miles so he's not scared of The Beast or Gaston. We'll talk about it later because Asher is standing there with a smashed beach ball, acting out how to blow it up, his body bouncing with excitement because of the asking, so I reach for it.

Just then Ryan comes up the stairs and he says I'm home, traffic was terrible. I roll my eyes because his office is in the basement and he's silly. I say look, there's Daddy while I put the deflated ball on the counter, distracted and relieved. Asher walks slowly to the living room, wishing his ball was blown up. Ryan asks how goes it and I say Movie Night is Movie Afternoon, so he rubs my shoulders and he goes to the living room to see his boys.

I start to think about dinner. We have steaks. Ryan should start the grill and we'll have steaks... but with what?

The movie ends and I kiss Miles five times on the cheek and he asks why I kissed him so many times and I say it's because I love him so many times. Then Asher shouts with laughter and says toot, and I wonder why boys have to be so obsessed with bodily functions.

The sun blasts through the front window and I'm glad it's finally out. I wonder if the grass is dry enough for mowing. Our lawn could use some mowing. I hear a bang just then and so my heart jumps and I wait to see if there will be crying. There's none because it was just Ryan dropping an overloaded laundry basket to the floor. THUD! He's making room to play.

squealing and shouting and wrestling and giggling...

Go out and start the grill, please, I say to Ryan, and Miles responds with his silly voice put on and a, You're a pig, Mom! So I stop and say I know you're trying to be funny but name-calling isn't very nice. He asks why and I try to explain. He asks more and more whys so I say that's just how it is.

They all go out in the backyard for the grilling of the steaks but Ryan forgets something so he comes to the front door from the garage while he's looking. It's locked so I stop the making of the sides and open it while I hear Miles say something about a dead chipmunk. I fling it open fast and I run to the back door to stop him from touching dead things.

There's no dead chipmunk but he thinks so and he's standing too close to the grill and I tell him Move back, sweetie and he says why. I explain for a long time about burning because he's so intrigued and asks so many questions.

I go back in and I try to sit down and write even though it makes no sense to write at this very moment. Then Ryan comes in and says the grill is ready for the steaks and I say Huh? He says he already asked for them once but I guess I didn't hear him.

My fingers pound the keyboard a minute or two, but then I figure I should get up and boil some starchy goodness of sweet corn because the steaks have finally gone outside to turn from red to brown.

And then I stop and listen, the voices carrying through the breeze and the back door.

My family.

I step outside with the sun and the smell of grilling. To not only hear, but see, the very best things that have ever happened to me and to sit in the sun and listen out there instead of from inside by myself doing things.


We stop and we eat and we say take a few more bites, and then there are piles of sticky and gooey plates and small silverware and cups strewn about. I start to move them and then stop half-way done because it's late. Time for the bath to wash the dirt and sand off that soft and smooth skin. Ryan says keep the water in the tub over and over and then they have to get out for the not listening and they cry.

We fumble with jammies and night lights and we read and wrangle. We fill cups and say prayers and give kisses and tell jokes and say get back to bed, little man.

Then the lights are out and the quiet comes in just a little while, settling over all the things that didn't get done.

I sit with a sigh while tired covers me like a blanket and I think how very strangely beautiful it is to miss them while they sleep.



Heather writes at The Extraordinary Ordinary

TALK BACK: Back to School

For most of us, September means that our kids are back in school. The unsctructured days of summer are over, and it's time to get back into the daily routine.

How did you feel about going back to school this year? Was summer too short or too long for you? Do you crave the structure of the school year, or do you miss the freedom of long summer days?

Got any back to school tips or suggestions you want to share with the rest of the class?

Salad On-The-Go

Eating healthy with two active kids is a constant challenge for me. I find myself preparing them great meals, but neglecting myself or eating their leftovers. This is particularly true when I pack a lunch. I don't love sandwiches and oftentimes lunch on the run for me looks like crackers and string cheese.

I had a great wrap in San Diego recently, and tried my own variation at home. I think I've figured out how to take a salad with me! No fork required.

1 sprouted grain large tortilla
2 tbsp humus
1 cup salad greens
1 tsp sesame seeds
1/2 cup broccoli
1 tbsp balsamic vinagrette
1 tbsp shredded carrots
whatever other salad fixings you fancy

Spread the hummus onto the tortilla. Mix other ingredients in a bowl, and then place in center of tortilla. Wrap up like a burrito and pack for playgroup.

follow us on twitter for a Burt's Bee's giveaway!

Mama Manifesto is now on twitter! Come get the latest scoop on tips, picks, and givaways at http://twitter.com/mamamanifesto. Become a follower by next Friday and we will enter you to win a Burt's Bee's sampler set. This Head to Toe kit is a selection of Burt's Bees sample size creams and cleansers, lotions and balms--everything you need to cleanse, moisturize and pamper yourself from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, naturally.

Friday Giveaway: Lifeway Pro-Bugs

I have been a longtime fan of the concept of probiotics. It makes sense to me that flooding your tummy with healthy bacteria will keep the "bad germs" in line. But getting my kids to eat yogurt has not always been an easy task. Enter the concept of drinking your bugs!

Pro-bugs is Lifeway's new line of Organic Whole Milk Kefir with fun characters and packaging that will have your kids interested in kefir (yogurt's bacteria-rich cousin) in seconds flat. I have always been a fan of Lifeway Kefir, but my kids were never interested in drinking this heavy liquid from a cup. When this colorful new packaging arrived, my kids were begging for them, and drank them up! These drinks are a bit on the sweet side, but with 10 live and active cultures (friendly bacteria), I figured it was an easy sacrifice. I think the folks at Lifeway are on to something with this packaging, and I'm thrilled my kids are excited about this healthy new drink!



For our giveaway this week, we'll be offering a sample pack of these drinks. To enter, leave a comment answering the following question:

How to Get Extra Entries:


***When you enter an extra entry you must post a *separate comment* for each entry, sorry but we can’t keep track of extra entries unless you do this. ***


1. add our blog to your blogroll and leave a comment on this post with the link to your blog

2. become a "follower" of our blog by clicking here (or at the sidebar on the right)

3 join our facebook network by clicking here

[this giveaway will be closed on Thursday at 11 PM, & the winner will be announced next Friday!]

And now, for the winner of last week's GoPicnic giveaway:

(((Lindley)))

Congratulations! Shoot us an email in the next two weeks and we will hook you up.

packing healthy lunches

We all know that a well balanced meal is essential for focus, so why do we trust our kids to fend for themselves in the school cafeteria? Packing a lunch is one way to ensure that your child will have a nutritious mid-day meal, and even help mold their eating habits for later years.

With Back-to-School right around the corner, Mike Naples of Zone Delivery USA has compiled some helpful tips for parents on building the best brown bag lunch – starting with tossing the brown bag!

Step 1: Forget the brown bag

It’s better for the environment. Plus, lunch boxes are sturdier, and insulated lunch bags are the best way to keep food fresh throughout the day. Convince the older kids with retro lunch boxes that will go perfectly with their Wayfarers and Rolling Stones T-shirts.

Step 2: Pick Your Protein

Sandwiches can be an excellent source of protein. Branch out from the Ham and Cheese and PB&J’s to give the kids something to look forward to. Try substituting cashew or almond butter for a healthy variety, or using leftover chicken or roast beef with light mayo, mustard, lettuce, and a slice of cheese. Also, we all know that substituting wraps for carb-laden slices of bread is a great way to cut back, so introduce this to the kids while they still have an attraction to “tube-shaped” food.


Step 3: Substitute Sides

Most kids think their lunch is incomplete without a bag of chips, but the salty processed snack food won’t help them get through the day with enough energy left for soccer practice. Try some healthy alternatives like sending a salad in a small container, packing string cheese with whole grain crackers, making a fruit salad, including dried fruit and nuts, or sending crunchy carrots with a small container of veggie dip.

Step 4: Skip the Soda

Many parents pack the lunch and leave a dollar or two or their kids to get a drink in the cafeteria. According to the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) drinking too much soda, flavored drinks, or even juice can contribute to cavities, childhood obesity, diarrhea and other gastrointestinal problems. Try freezing a small bottle of water and including it instead – most children don’t drink enough water, and the frozen bottle will help keep the rest of the lunch cold until midday.

Step 5: Sweet Stuff

You know they’ll be angry if they get through digging and don’t find a dessert. Pay close attention to portion size and think about subbing trail mix, dried fruit, granola bars, Jell-O, or low-fat pudding for that pre-packaged row of Oreos.

Step 6: Snack Attack

Growing kids seem to be hungry all the time, so why do we think that one meal at noon is enough to keep them going through all their after-school activities? Pack snacks like granola bars, crackers and peanut butter, trail mix or “Ants on a Log” for the 3PM energy drop.

Passing the Bed

He has asked so many questions that don't have answers and I'm just so tired. I ask him to help his brother. I say, "He's going to get hurt, can you help him?" He asks, "Why will he get hurt?" I answer through gritted teeth, "He just will! Just help him!" Then he sighs and his big blue eyes look sad and I wish I could find the strength for more patience and less surprising anger.

When I walk into my room to get dressed, I pass the crumpled bed and want to get in it. I want to curl up on my side and cry. I'm not sure why, but I want to do it. I start to walk that way and then I see her, the me in my mind's eye, on her side in the bed where I am not. She looks like she's repeating history. She is carrying this disease and she thinks she isn't and then sometimes she thinks she is this disease. She is me and I am her and she is them and she is not.

She is so afraid that she's given it to them.

I know that if I were to walk in and find her curled there, I'd think she should get up. I'd think she should shake it off. It's not her fault she's there, but she needs to get up, I'd say. Then I'd wonder if some of it is her fault, because I know memories of ridiculous choices can flood in and bring with them the funk, curling her up.

So I get dressed. I wash my face of yesterday's make-up and I put one foot in front of the other to make sure that I'm not her or them or her past. I fight it because I know that when I do, it gets a little better.

I fake it sometimes, but strangely, most of the time I'm truly reveling in the buried joy. The miraculous happiness that comes through the eyes of my boys. We make a hide-out in a closet and they are thrilled with their flashlights in the dark. I well up with joy because they are who they are and I believe we can change this. Even if it doesn't stop, it can be lighter, it can get better. Even if they feel it, they can learn that it doesn't define them. I will tell them. They can learn from the truths we speak over them...

You are lovely. You are worthy. You are good. Just exactly as you are. This heavy weight of sadness, it can never be who you are.

I can say it with words from my mouth, and I can say it by walking away from the bed, uncurled and dressed.

"Can we go to the park?" He asks carefully. And I say yes even though I don't want to because I know that it's the right thing to do. I put one foot in front of the other and he rides with training wheels beside me. He says, "You're great, Mom." Then through my tightening throat where my heart wells up with this mercy, I say, "So are you, little man."

"I know," he says.

I laugh with unleashed joy and I think, please keep knowing...please keep knowing...please...

We are sometimes sadness, but mostly we are grace.


Heather writes at The Extraordinary Ordinary

TALK BACK: the president speaks to children

If you've watched the news much this week, you know there has been quite an uproar over the president's planned speech for today. Teachers and administrators were invited to show Obama's address to students, in which he plans to encourage kids to set goals, work hard, and stay in school. You can read the transcript here. Some parents feel it is a good message for kids to hear from our country's leader, while others are outraged and concerned that the president is giving a speech to their children and plan to pull their kids out of school. Will your kids be watching it today?

Easy Cobbler

Okay, okay. We work hard to bring you lots of healthy recipes for the whole family. But sometimes, you just need a little treat, right? Here is a great dessert option that is full of fruit and free of hydrogenated oils or corn syrup.

INGREDIENTS:
Fruit of choice
1 cup whole-wheat flour
1 cup raw sugar
1 egg
1 stick butter, melted

Used 5-6 peaches or apples or 2 pks. frozen blackberries. Spread fruit on bottom of 9x9 pan. In bowl, break egg over flour and sugar mixture and mix with fork. Add cinnamon if using peaches or apples. Pour melted butter over top. Bake 350 degrees for 45-60 minutes until brown on top. Double for 9x13 pan. (If making in large rectangular pyrex, use 3 bags of frozen berries).

Serve hot with vanilla ice cream. Yummy!

WFMW: delaying the morning wake-up call

My daughter used to wake at the CRACK OF DAWN! She was just an early riser and I could not get her to sleep past 6 AM. I learned over time to put her to bed earlier (supposedly if they are waking at 6, they should go to bed at 6. Yikes, I know!) Anyway, when I had my son, I was seriously dying from the early rising. When he was a newborn baby, I would finish that final 4:30 AM feeding and diaper change and just be getting back to bed when I would hear my daughter begin to stir and call for me. We needed a solution, because this mama was not going to survive with that happening for very long (my husband goes to work at 5:30 AM so he could not help out in the morning...when the kids are up in the morning, it is all ME!). I cannot remember where I found our solution (on the internet in a drastic googling frenzy to find help for a tired mommy, or if it was in a kids' magazine), but it was like GOLD to us.

Basically, what we did was install a timer (like for Christmas tree lights) from the hardware store to the lamp in her room. We set the time for a reasonable "get out of bed" time. I think we started with 6:30 AM and then slowly made it about 10 minutes later every couple of days until we stretched it to 7 AM. We introduced this new thing called "The Wake Up Game" to Logan and the game was played like this - when she wakes up in the morning, if her lamp is not on, then she can rest in bed or read some books in her bed QUIETLY until her lamp turns on. When it turns on, the game starts and she can come find mommy (hmmmm...I wonder where Mommy always was....zzzzzzzzzzzz). We made a chart to celebrate each day that we won the wake up game and decided to take her and her best friend to Chuck E Cheese for pizza and games when her chart was filled up! And, guess what - this mommy got to sleep until 7 AM from then on! :) Oh Joy! Oh Bliss! I know for many of us 7 AM is still super early in the morning, but it is a world away from 5:30 or 6 AM! We went the positive reinforcement route for getting this habit to solidify, but when we hit a hiccup and Logan informed us that she no longer wanted to play the wake up game, she was then informed that if someone doesn't play the wake up game, then that same someone loses their chance to watch their precious 30 minutes of TV in the morning. Needless to say, we are still playing the game!

The coolest aspect to it, is I really think that having that trigger actually started to adjust Logan's body clock, because over time she began to sleep until 7.

For more on healthy sleep habits for kids, go here.

Friday Giveaways: GoPicnic

Our giveaway this week is of the edible variety. GoPicnic's MightyMunch kids meals are packed with fun, tasty, kid-tested foods that are nutritious AND delicious! Each kids meal is balanced to limit overall fat, saturated fat and sugar content, and contains protein, grains & fruit as well as a sweet treat and a fun surprise. Natural ingredients are at the core of MightyMunch kids meals – with no trans fats, high fructose corn syrup, MSG, artificial flavors or artificial colors. Each food item is individually packaged and needs no refrigeration or heating – that means you can eat MightyMunch kids meals anytime, anywhere!


The food in GoPicnic meals is nutritious, yes – but also so tasty and fun that kids won't know they're eating a better-for-you option! MightyMunch meals are designed to include a tasty balance of protein, fruit & fiber and meet 35-10-35 standards limiting fat, saturated fat and sugar.

One lucky winner will receive a five-pack sample of Mighty Munch meals, great for school lunches, camp, road trips, plane trips, field trips...anytime!


To enter, leave a comment to the following question:

Where is your ideal picnic spot?

For extra entries, you can leave an additional comment saying you have:

1. added our blog to your blogroll with the link to your blog

2. become a "follower" of our blog by clicking here (or at the sidebar on the right)

[this giveaway will be closed this Thursday at 11 PM, & the winner will be announced next Friday!]
And now, for the winner of last week's giveaway:

(((((((((jessica))))))))))

Shoot us an email in the next two weeks to claim your prize!

WMFW: Books on Tape

Audio books are one of my secret weapons as a mom. I burn books onto our ipod and then my kids can follow along while someone else reads to them. I often plug the ipod into the speakers in the living room in the early evening, and then lay out the books that are on the playlist. This is the only way I am able to prepare dinner most nights, and it makes me feel less guilty than putting a video on. Although, I have been known to do that as well. ;)

Talk Back: What to do with kids who are scared at night?

Isn't it funny how you can be cruising along in parenthood, feeling like you have it all down and things are smooth sailing, and then - wham - what the heck just happened?

Our "what the heck just happened" is a sudden onslaught of all sorts of bed time struggles. My 5 year old watched a bit of Star Wars (much to my disdain!!!) and is TERRIFIED of Darth Vader coming out of her closet at night. She is also suddenly afraid of fire coming into her room, and has a heightened fear of the dark at night. Ugh. The bedtime struggles start about an hour before bed every night these days. She comes to me with tears in her eyes and says, "I don't want to sleep tonight." We talk. We process. She takes a relaxing bath. We read our bed time books. We pray. We cuddle. We say good night. Then she comes out to tell me she is scared and and we process and hug and say good night again. And again. And again.

So, mamas, this is a very open talk back. I know there have to be more mamas out there dealing with bed time worries and fears. Share your tips, favorite books, tactics, stories here...

What do you do when your kids have a nightmare? What do you do when they are afraid to go to sleep? Do you have any bedtime routines that seem to help?

Help!