TALK BACK: playing favorites

We all know the old adage - a mother never has favorites. And while that might be true, I think many of us would admit that some of our children might be harder or easier to deal with than others. This is very true in my house - while I dearly love each of my children, I have one child who is just a little bit more work. My oldest wants a constant playmate, and has a noise and energy level that is a little bit draining. It's not that I love him less - but if I am perfectly honest, he is a little bit harder to parent. His temperment is more like my husband's, and they love being loud and active together, while my daughter and I are more independent, and would prefer snuggling up in a quiet room, each with our own book.

What about you? Do you have a harder child? Or a child whose temperament is easier for you?

Anyone really have a secret favorite?


  1. My kids take turns. Some days one is easier, other days it is the other one. I'm considering taking the leap to child number 3 soon, and am wondering how that will affect the group dynamics. I'm thinking the chances are good that 2 will be more difficult on any given day, but it could be the other way around. We'll see when the time comes I guess.

  2. My husband and I were just discussing how our youngest is different from the other two. While she is our most dramatic, high-maintenence, stinker of a kid, she is often the one with which we tend to let things slide. We think it's a combination of picking our battles and her just being our "baby"... probably our last baby. The other two are just so easy-going and obedient that I think it's so much easier to enforce rules with them! There's not much work to it! While we certainly don't love her more, I admit there's definitely some unintentional "favoritism" going on... or at least some INTENTIONAL avoidance of a major headache.

  3. Among the "normal" kids.. they take turns about who is the easiest and in which ways.. the kids with RAD are the two I have had the toughest battles with, for sure.. because it is give.Give.Give and never get anything back from them.. but they are also the kids that I have fought for the hardest, too.. so it is love, just in an entirely different form. Unfortunately, not the form that would ever make me be like, oooh, let's spend MORE time together..

  4. My favorite is generally the one not crying. :)

  5. I'll admit to prefering one child's personality to the other's. I love my 8 year old girl. I do! At her best, she's amazing and wonderful. But, she is infinitely more difficult than her brother at any given moment of any given day. Our 10 year old son is just so easy to be with.

  6. Depends on the day... My oldest has a soft heart, which makes correcting him pretty easy. But he's a booger sometimes, too. Today he convinced his younger brother that if he refused to eat a healthy breakfast that Dad would give them both a granola bar in the car on the way to school. This, of course, led to a tantrum from the youngest when Dad informed him that no granola bars were forthcoming.

    My youngest is stubborn but straight-forward. He's not manipulative or extra sensitive.

    So some days (or weeks) one or the other drives me nuts or is harder to parent, but it changes.

  7. I'm coming in way late on this...I really feel guilty for the fact that most days I like one of my kids less than the others. I'm actually not sure what to do about this because I'm desperately afraid someone (especially my child) will see through this. She is just infinitely more difficult than my others and causes me so much pain. I try not to hold a grudge but it's so hard. I know God doesn't make mistakes but sometimes I feel our personalities are so mismatched...or maybe we're just too alike and that is the problem. Either way, I pray daily for God's help.


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