the doctor is in

Since I write for a parenting blog and have a bit of education in psychosocial development, I've been toying with the idea of writing a weekly advice column. People could write in with questions on child development and parenting issues, and I could dig into my well of knowledge and give them good advice. Why, just today I was thinking of how much wisdom I have to offer from my own life experiences. Here's an example:

Q: Dear Kristen,
My child is several months old and isn't rolling over yet. Most of the milestone charts that I'm googling on a daily basis tell me that my child should be rolling over soon. I would really like to see my child hit every milestone on time (or early!!) and my child's lack of giftedness in this area has me worried. What can I do to encourage this important developmental step?
Neurotic in Newport

A: Dear Neurotic in Newport,
Of course you are worried! Obsessively checking milestone charts is the standard of good parenting, and also the beginning of a lifetime of comparing your child's achievement to his/her peers. Good job! But never fear - I have a surefire way of making sure your little one learns to roll over.
Step 1 - place your baby who has never rolled over on the middle of a bed.
Step 2 - leave the room for two seconds to use the bathroom
Step 3 - when you hear a thud and screaming, milestone achieved!!

Good luck with this. It has worked perfectly for me with all three of my children. Please don't hesitate to contact me for any more amazing parenting advice.
Kristen, Resident Development Expert


  1. bahahahahahahhahahahaha.

    that is all.

  2. Thanks for that, I almost peed myself, yall!
    PMPF (pee my pants funny)


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