The Perils of Being Cool

Going to IKEA puts me in a good mood. There are truly inexpensive storage containers there. And I really like to organize and store things. Like little boy's shoes, games, puzzles, blankets, clothes, winter items, socks, books, toys, towels, outdoor toys...

So yeah. I was in a good mood after a trip there today. I was loading the boys in the car and doing what I normally do. Rapping. What mother doesn't rap while trying to persuade her children to do things they don't feel like doing?

If I had the ability to vlog (is that what it's called?) I would totally share this rap with you, since it works wonders. Or if I wanted to have myself seen on video over the internet, then I would show you via YouTube. But that isn't going to happen. So instead you'll just have to rap this in your head while imagining me trying to keep Miles from climbing all over the car:

Put your butt in the seat.
Put your butt in the seat.
Baby.
Butt in the seat.
Yes, put it in the seat. (say that last line like rapid fire...for effect.)

That's it. You have to keep it simple, people. These are small children. They like simple.

My boys giggle every time I get down wit' it and roll with my homies as a means to getting what I want. And it works. Miles giggles and submits, putting his butt in his seat, rapid fire style.

But today, in all my IKEA-giddiness, I got a little carried away. I was buckling Asher, rapping to Miles and bouncing my very own butt a little while bending into the back seat. I finished with Asher and backed up (all that junk in my trunk, moving slowly away from the car) and stood and turned to go around and buckle Miles.

Just then I came face to face with my audience.

A nice young man was patiently waiting to get to his car door. He had parked right next to me. So while I hitched up the five-point harness on Asher, he stood and listened to a thirty-something mother rapping her face off, and bouncing to the beat in her head.

He smirked. I sheepishly said, "Excuse me." He said, "It's no problem."

Was he stifling a laugh? I choose to think not. I'm going to believe he simply thought I was a cool, hip young Mom, working wonders on the monkey children in the car.

31 comments:

  1. I have an IKeA right down the street..I love it there..it's a great place to go when just need to buy something!
    ~Sandy toe

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  2. This made my morning. I bet he added rapping future mama to his someday wife list! Oh, and went home and put it on his blog.

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  3. That's a lot like what happened to me last time. My son ripped a loud one, then started laughing. I scolded "WHAT DO YOU SAY?" He then excused himself, I shut the door and started laughing only to look over and see the same thing you saw. Someone waiting for me to get out of their way. They saw and HEARD the whole thing. How embarrassing.

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  4. Oh that's hot! You are the hot mom making up her own rap songs and dacning in the parking lot. I want to grow up to be just like you.

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  5. I bet you made his day. Just reading this made mine! :)

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  6. This was one of my first posts I ever read of yours, and it made me laugh so hard!

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  7. I guess maybe that's the only reason I ever heard to be happy I have no IKEA close by.

    I don't know if I can handle being that happy!

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  8. I KNEW you were my people. That happens to me - not with the rapping, but with the humming and the singing and the talking to myself. :>

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  9. I always feel like people can either listen to my musical improv or they can listen to my kids scream, it's up to them. Of course, one time I did have to really stop and think when I realized that in an attempt to keep my son awake on the way home from church I had been swerving maniacally all over the road with a pair of 3T boys' swim trunks on my head.

    I guess I should be thankful I didn't get pulled over, right?

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  10. Oh my. Truly, one of my greatest sadnesses in life is that you and I cannot be together to do these sort of things. Can you move? I'll help pack and everything.

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  11. He was just taking notes for when he has kids to buckle up in the car. You're brilliant.

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  12. Thank you all for coming over. To laugh at me...er, with me.

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  13. Loved this one the first time I read it and love it even more now. Do you mind if I steal your song?

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  14. I am totally not laughing at you, honest I am laughing with you. I make up songs and raps all the time to entertain Monkey (and I guess anyone else that is around).

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  15. I would rather be caught rapping at my kids than scolding them. And I love IKEA. So do my kids.

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  16. I'm sorry but...LMAO!!!! I'm totally singing that from now on!

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  17. this is so cute! I'm sure he was thinking that you were a totally cool mom!

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  18. Thanks for making me laugh! I bet he was totally digging it.
    Michelle
    http://oneordinaryday.wordpress.com/

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  19. I would have felt quite validated had I come across you in the parking lot rapping. I have my own routine little ditties that I say to Anja as I buckle her in and get her out. She loves it! At least until she's about 5 and can tell me how un-hip I am. :)

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  20. ok...so i was supposed to rap that song along out loud, right??

    cuz i did!

    love ikea, love your stories.

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  21. And another scrap of dignity bites the dust.

    I could share a much worse story but it's so bad I just CAN't.

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  22. What a great story! I need to memorize this rap to use next time I try to get my children in the car. But I will remember to rap quietly :)

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  23. Heather, You never fail to make me laugh! Never fail.

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  24. Niiiice. I wish I had seen that one :) Our nearest Ikea is forever away (ok, 2 hours, but it totally feels like forever when you have to plan an entire day around it and travel with 3 small children that enjoy making you crazy), so I rarely get there. However, I will have to use this rap for the other 50 bazillion times I am telling my kids to get into their seats NOW! ;)

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  25. Oh yeah, I think that guy was just enjoying the view of your butt as you were movin' to the beat of your own rap.

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  26. I LOVE it! That the kind of mommies we need out there! :)

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  27. So glad I'm not the only mommy that raps. Last week my boys had friends over and I was doing my rapping thing, Caleb looked at his friend and said with a smile "my mommy's really silly." I couldn't tell if he was apologizing or bragging. I choose to thinkg bragging:)

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  28. Your kids are so lucky!
    --and so was that guy, btw!

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