Have you seen my hat?

I was all proud of myself this morning. Because I took a shower.

Miles was at school and I gave Asher a snack and turned on Clifford, thinking "I can do this, I'll just take a super-fast-only-sort-of get-clean kind of shower" (the kind that leaves my hair less greasy but doesn't really mean the bottoms of my feet were scrubbed. That kind.).

I got out of the shower and rushed to get clothes, thinking about how quietly Asher was watching the Big Red Dog. I'm an idiot, so I was pleased by his silence.

I was in the shower for approximately three minutes and dressing for about thirty seconds. I kid you not.

And just yesterday my friend and I were talking about how much we love Curious George, even if he does get into all that trouble. We blamed the Man with the Yellow Hat for George's antics because anyone knows you shouldn't leave a monkey alone so much. Especially not to "watch over the store" or all alone in a country cabin. I mean, he IS a city monkey after all. He's sure to spill grape juice and then fill the place with water and suds trying to clean it up. (Don't ask WHY we were having this conversation. I simply do not know.)

But I digress...

My point? I AM THE MAN WITH THE YELLOW HAT.

I came walking back (and I was smiling because remember, I'm an idiot) to the living room, expecting to see Asher sitting with his pacifier and blanket, eyes on Clifford. But no...

He was paying no mind to that big red dog. He had taken my coffee from the end table (THAT I TOTALLY FORGOT WAS THERE WHEN I WENT TO TAKE A SHOWER), and his own cereal snack, and mixed them together. He had also opened my CLOSED LAPTOP (clicking over the little claspy thing and everything), and was taking his chubby little hand, dipping it in the coffee/cereal mixture and throwing it all over the keyboard. There were little puddles and splashes and pieces of raisin covering the computer.

"GEEEOOOOORGE!"

He grins at me.

Three minutes. Thirty seconds. Ryan (Daddy) is going to kill me.

And there sat our very own big red dog, cozy on the couch, watching the whole thing unfold, expressionless. I was repeating, "No, no no no no no you didn't.... NO NO NO....Asher, noooooo" and then I turned to the dog and scolded her too. "How could you let this happen???"

Her ears went back and she put on her pout. It was then that I remembered she couldn't have stopped the madness. She has no thumbs. How was she to grab the coffee cup?

She's just an animal.

I. Am the Man with the Yellow Hat.

8 comments:

  1. Funny post. Give yourself a break. At least you got the shower? Hope the laptop still works...

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  2. This might just be one of the best things I have read. Ever.

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  3. Oh boy. I'd like to say "what were you THINKING??" but I think we've all been there at least once.

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  4. Hahahaha, classic. Great story, but if it makes you feel any better, I like to think we all have a little bit of the man in the yellow hat in us. :)

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  5. my mouth is wide open and my eyes are bug eyed!!

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  6. LMAO... I'm so sorry. And Yes, the man in the yellow hat makes me crazy! Seriously, why do you give a monkey responsibilities? Especially one with a track record like George's.

    And yet... everything always comes out ok in the end.

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  7. Oh my gosh - I am laughing out loud. I just found your blog and I'm so enjoying it!
    Thanks!
    Michelle
    http://oneordinaryday.wordpress.com/

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  8. Oh my goodness. Did I write that? I seriously could've... lol I wouldn't leave mine alone though because I KNOW that would happen within 10 seconds. lol I know my dog would be the same way. We LOVE Curious George here... It's on every morning.

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