National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

October 15th is a day that congress set aside to honor mothers who have lost their children to miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss. This is a topic that is close to me, having had five miscarriages in the last five years.

The journey through miscarriage is such a lonely road. I could never have imagined how devastating it would be to lose a pregnancy. I think it is something no one can comprehend until you have been through it. And yet, so many of us have. I am still mystified by the cloud of secrecy that passes over this loss that so many of us have endured. I remember sitting with a group of about 10 women, all of whom I knew fairly well from church. The topic came up, and each and every one of us had experience pregnancy loss. I had no idea about most of them. Why the silent suffering?

I've talked a bit about how quiet I was about all of my pregnancies, and how the result was that I felt completely and utterly alone when I miscarried in secret. I hope that being open on my blog can help even one person who has suffered through this on their own. I hope that we, as women, can begin to take the taboo away from this topic and remember our children out loud.

If you have experienced loss, please feel free to share about your experience with a comment to honor your child today.


Just Ten Weeks
by Susan Erling

For just 10 weeks
I had you to myself.
And 10 weeks seems too short a time for
you to have changed me so profoundly.

In just 10 weeks
I came to know you ... and to love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life I had planned for you!

Just 10 weeks
Then I lost you.
I lost a lifetime of hopes, plans, dreams, and
aspirations.
A slice of my future simply vanished
overnight.

Just 10 weeks
It wasn’t enough time to convince others
how special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has died
recently, and no one is mourning the
passing.

Just 10 weeks.
And no normal person would cry all night
over a tiny 10-week fetus, or get depressed
and withdrawn day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I?

You were just 10 weeks, my little one. You
darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems you only needed 10 weeks to
make my life so much richer and give me a
small glimpse of eternity


Related posts & resources:
Julie's Blog - "Joy's Hope" - recently had a series of posts called "what's in a name" (part 1 - 7) where she shared her journey -- AMAZING!

5 comments:

  1. I've only had one miscarriage, but it was heart wrenching. We had already shared our pregnancy so we had to share our miscarriage too. Needless to say we were very nervous about our next pregnancy and held our breath through the first trimester. My baby would be two this month, of course I wouldn't have my amazing daughter if things would have turned out differently, and I wouldn't trade her for anything!

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  2. I had no idea this was an official "remembrance day" until today! In addition to my precious little 17-month old daughter, I've had 3 miscarriages and am in the midst of dealing with secondary infertility. I too have been amazed at how common pregnancy loss is- the more I shared my experiences, the more I found sisters who'd been through the same horrible thing. I do take comfort in the fact that God is the Blessed Controller and knows what He's doing with my life, but the truth is, it still hurts.

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  3. Have you guys seen "Bring the Rain" - I said "seen" but I mean read.

    http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/

    Angie's latest post there asks this same question, because she recently lost her sweet baby girl.

    I think there are hundreds of comments. It shocked me how many people go through this.

    I'm sorry. I've never experienced it and can't imagine the grief...

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  4. That poem has me in tears.

    I had my first miscarriage in June. Only six weeks along, but...I can't put it into words. Losing that hope was so shattering.

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  5. Thank you for this post. I had a miscarriage in August and I think about it every day. In my experience, miscarriage is definitely something no one seems to want to talk about. Maybe they don't know what to say or maybe they just don't understand how bad it hurts. Thank you for bringing attention to this.

    ReplyDelete

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