McFear

The following tale is a reminder of all the many reasons to avoid fast food. After all, caving in to the call of the golden arches could bring immediate punishment. :)

The kids and I had to get out of the house today. I made the mistake of asking Miles where he would like to go. He said the play place at the mall. I said something like, "really?" He was sure.

Anyway, we ran other errands and I started to truly dread the mall, the double stroller, the chaos...

We came up to a light and I couldn't help but notice the golden arches to my right. Hmmmm.

Mistake #2 of the day was asking if the play place at MickeyD's would suffice... ugh.

Miles has been to the play place one other time in his life. Luckily we were with friends that day. I was pregnant with a (very) large Asher, and Miles couldn't find his way out of the "tunnels" in the play place. My friend climbed her way through and saved his life. That was a long time ago, so today I thought Miles would be old enough to not freeze in one of the plastic window bubbles, totally forgetting how to keep his body moving toward an exit.

But he forgot.

I looked a fool for at least five minutes trying to mouth to him how to get down, head tipped back as I looked up at him in the bubble window, pointing and pacing and yelling, "IT'S OKAAAAY!!!" Finally I gave up (too many crocodile tears), and climbed my way to the rescue. Ew...

Then a droopy Miles and I made our way back to an abandoned Asher and ate more nasty, guilt-inducing food. I said that maybe when he's a bit bigger he'll have an easier time with really high tubing. He just stared at me and shoved a hand-full of artery-clogging fries into his innocent little mouth.

After that, he proceeded to pour lemonade (sugar-ade) down his front, soaking his shirt and pants and, with lip trembling, asked me for a napkin. "That's okay honey, accidents happen, stay right here while I go throw our piles of unrecyclable trash."

I was only gone for a moment...

Gone. G-O-N-E. Gone. Where'd he go?!? Has Ronald McDonald stolen my beautiful child??? Panic setting in. I turned my back for three seconds! Well, okay, maybe it was 30 seconds because that stupid piece of paper wouldn't come off the tray and I didn't want to touch the garbage and...ugh. WHERE???

Oh. He's right there, removing his shoes to start the climb up Mount Fear again. No thank you, Mister. We're leaving.

"WHY MOMMY?"

5 comments:

  1. That whole post is one of the many reasons I DON'T do McDonald's. Not ever. There's a nice pizza place we go to where you can watch them make the pizzas up fresh. It's a good combination of fast food, but trying to explain to the children how to behave in a restaurant. Everything about McDonald's just makes my skin crawl!

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  2. Good for Miles for trying again. I think that one of the things in parenting that is hardest for me to watch is when my kids are immobilized by fear. I understand it, but I want to help them process it and it is so painful to see such young souls frozen by something so lame as fear. My daughter especially struggles with being afraid and anxious, and it would be one of my "3 wishes if I met a genie today" that I could bear the brunt of that burden for her if I could.

    Oh, and there is nothing nastier than having to climb through those tubes. That should be a fear factor competition, Parenthood Edition. :)

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  3. Ahhh, yes, McDonalds. Where to food is greasey and you are sure to be driven to insanity by the screaming. I think I'm craving a Big Mac. Or was that a MAC truck headache?

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  4. Oh boy. I can't tell you how many times I have had to shimmy up through those tubes to retrieve a screaming child who was frozen in fear. Yes, it is best avoided altogether!!

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  5. Ouchie! You'll probably start twitching the next time you see the arches. =P

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