They Wear Me Out....And Pull Me Through

It's tricky for me to keep my cool. The days are long, and I have to admit that I'm not doing that well. I'm losing my cool more than keeping it.

But what pulls me through each day are the very people who wear me out so much.

When I think I can't possibly take one more moment of incessant chatter from the back seat of the car, Miles says something like, "look at the cloud it looks like a pretzel with feet or a crabber with one broken claw, or maybe just a doggy." And then I realize that every day with him is precious, a chance to experience more moments of creativity and light.

When the "MA MA MA MA" starts around 5:30am, pulling me from my dreams and I have to pry open my eyes and strive to sit up, it's okay because I know the face I'm about to see. I know the joy that will spread across that face at the sight of me.

When I'm trying to concentrate at the computer and Miles keeps talking so I can't focus, I stop and realize that he needs to connect with me. And just when I do, I have the honor of hearing, "I think I'll call you Bongo, Mommy. Yup, Bongo. Daddy and me are going to call you Bongo Heather." And when he laughs hysterically at his own silliness, I'm struck with the thought that he is so much better than anything else I could be distracted with.

When Asher screams and cries from the highchair because I just can't feed him fast enough, grabbing his hair with his very dirty hands, I can keep trying. Because there are moments when he stops, he looks me right in the eye and tilts his head to one side and softens his face. It's as if he's saying, "I really love you, mommy person." And that's enough to pull me through a few more hours.

When Miles won't eat the food he's served, just for the sake of not trying it, I add a little parmesan and he says, "that cheese looks like a fingernail like a cut fingernail it's like a cheese fingernail." And then we laugh and it doesn't matter that we were both so frustrated a moment before.

When everything is crazy and I just can't keep up; another diaper, another meal, another tantrum, another mess...I look over at Asher because I know there's a chance he'll give me that toothy grin, making everything okay again. And it never fails that he delivers, smiling up at me like he's seeing a long lost friend.

I'm thankful for life. Thankful for my family. Even for the moments that wear me to the core. Because of these boys that wear me out and pull me through.

7 comments:

  1. I needed to hear that today especially.

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  2. So true! Such a good reminder to be grateful.

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  3. We have a very similar time of it with our little ones, I think. That describes my life so perfectly. Thanks for the reminder!

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  4. This is so beautiful and so true.

    I love the refrain of thankfulness.

    Thanks, Heather!

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  5. Such a big truth! Our little loves remind us every day the power of a smile, of a word, of a look which remove the black cloud around us and that is casting a shadow over the beauty of life. Our little ones are our bright sun. Our little ones make life wonderful!
    The moment of going to bed is a nightmare for me when Margui decides that she is going to take her time... and that means 1 hour or longer!... And I end mad because I am frustrated: I want her to go to sleep, PLEASE!, so I can finally sit down for half an hour after a looooong day!... At that moment, always when I reach the limit of my patience, she looks at me, give me kiss and put her little hand on my mouth so I can give her one, and she falls asleep peacefully... A few thoughts: 1) Damn it! I am really awful! I HAVE to be patience... although I am human... 2) God! How much I love her! 3) Margui, you are the light of my life. God bless you and Saint Anthony protects you always 4) Thank you, my baby, for making my life so wonderful!
    To be a mom is sometimes hard... but it is worth it... And WE ALL are excellent managers of our own company called "family"!
    A big hug to all of you, brave and grate mamas!!!

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