My Day So Far

It's only 2pm, and wow, it's been a doozy so far.

This morning starting with both kids waking up early. Insanely early. My solution to this was to put on Sesame Street, give them both a smoothie, and go back to bed. Responsible parenthood at its finest. I thought I would just doze for a few minutes, but I awoke to India (my alomst-2-wear-old) screaming at Jafta because he turned off the tv during the ending credits to Sesame Street. This was my first indication that I was in trouble. Sesame Street is the only way I am able to take a shower and get ready in the morning. If I haven't completed my shower by the time I hear Elmo's World, I know I am not gonna get one. But since I took a run last night and then crashed in my sweaty hair, it just wasn't an option.

I convinced India to take a shower with me, because that way only Jafta would be unattended while I washed my stinky hair. While I was drying off, India was naked for maybe two minutes. During that time, she managed to walk into her brother's room and take a poop in the middle of the floor. Jafta alerted me to the situation, and then threw his pillow on top to cover the offense. Which just mushed the poop further across the floor. I walked in, not also noticing that she simultaneously peed on the floor, and managed to slip in pee and find my toweled self in a split pose I haven't managed since 8th grade gymnastics. It hurt. A lot.

I wasn't sure what to clean up first: my daughter, myself, or the floor. I took India to the bathroom to get her started washing her hands, wiped my feet off, and then hoofed it back to the hazmat situation in the bedroom. Now, cleaning up poop is always a deplorable act. But when you have the Super-Human Pregnancy Sense of Smell working against you, it's awful. But I managed to clean it up. Or so I thought. More on that later.

While I am cleaning up, India is standing at the sink and emptying an entire bottle of self-foaming hand soap onto the floor. It looks like a foam party in Cabo by the time I get back. (not that I've ever been to a foam party, mind you. But I would love to know how they clean that crap up, because I find it rather difficult).

The kids have been going a little stir-crazy due to the fact that my morning sickness makes me want to lay around all day. My kids hate being at home, and were begging to go somewhere. Now I have also been trying to maintain some level of fitness during this pregnancy, so I figured we could kill two birds with one stone and take a walk to the local farmer's market.

The farmer's market is about a mile and a half from our house, and typically I don't consider that to be a huge challenge. What I failed to consider, however, is that I set out for this journey during my nearly-comatose period of the day (11am) on a day when I was already feeling the pregnancy exhaustion setting in. If you note my previous Pregnancy Productivity Chart, I am typically not doing a whole lot of anything during this part of the day, except for cooking a baby that seems to be sucking the energy out of every cell of my body.

So, about halfway to the farmer's market, I start feeling a little tired. By the time the market was in sight, I was getting the feeling that I needed to sit down immediately. Maybe even lay down. But I trudged on, and tried to fight nausea as my kids sampled the array of fruits, tamales, and kettle corn from the vendors.

I forgot to mention that this morning Jafta also put his shorts on backwards, and they had a button (now in the back) that I didn't bother buttoning. I was just to tired to care. So the entire time we were at the market, people are pointing out that my son has his shorts on backwards and his undies are hanging out. And each time, I laugh and thank them and pretend like I didn't notice before. Oh, haha, that's funny. Yes, that's not right. We'll have to fix that right away. Right.

Okay, time to go home. We've got a good half-hour walk ahead of us. By the point, I am feeling like I can barely make my legs move. We pass by a grassy area just outside the market, where several homeless people are sleeping. I seriously think about laying down, too. I wonder if I could ask one of them to keep an eye on my kids while I "rest my eyes" for a minute. Every fiber of my being is screaming at me to stop walking and lay down.

We keep going.

We come to a traffic light, where I completely space on pushing the walk button. I stand at the light for about ten minutes until I realize that I have just blacked out while standing up. I've lost time, and haven't paid a bit of attention to the fact that we've missed six cycles of traffic. I shake myself out of it, focus my eyes, and push the button. It turns to the WALK signal immediately. Now Jafta (who is on a Razor) ignores my instructions to walk, and just kind of stands there in a daze. How dare he! So I actually nudge him across the street with the stroller.

I walk through the rest of the neighborhood in a tired slump, leaning against the stroller for most of the way. The sun has come out in full force, but because the weather was cold and damp this morning, I am dressed in jeans and a fleece hoodie. I am sweating through my shirt and wishing I could knock on someone's door and lay in their bed. A few times I even rest my head on the stroller bars. I'm sure I looked like I was walking home from a bar. That's the tragedy of early pregnancy: you don't look pregnant, you just look like a lazy, drunk weirdo.

We finally arrive home. Home, sweet home! I am ready to crawl into bed but I have to get my own kids down for their naps first. But as soon as we walk through the door I am jolted by the most disgusting, putrid smell ever. I immediately think about the poop situation from this morning.

Turns out India made her first deposit on a plastic chair, and then pushed the chair back under the table, and I didn't see it when I cleaned earlier. So that got to permeate and cook in the noon-day heat for hours while we were gone. AUGH!!!

I am done. I am so done. The kids are finally down, the house is free of exposed biohazardous materials (I think) and I am finally ready for a nap. What time is my husband getting home???


  1. Oh! Oh! Haven't we all been there. My goodness, any baby bug I have had over the past month just quickly dissipated as I remember how challenging that early season of feeling like you are walking around dead.

    Hang in there!

    And, thanks for letting us laugh with you.

  2. I haven't been there...yet! At least I won't be surprised once this stuff starts happening (we have only 1 child at the moment)! Thanks for prepping me for the wonderful world of multiple children!!!

  3. Sooooo been there. My first 20+ weeks of this 3rd pregnancy I spent at the toilet vomiting (all day and night) and peeing on towels while vomiting (accidentally, due to my lack of bladder control)...I sooo get it! Unfortunately, I was under the impression that because my first two pregnancies were that way that somehow I'd escape it the third time around. Nope. I would've killed for sleep! It had been so long since I remembered what it felt like to have enough energy to blow dry my hair! I wanted to smack anybody who said, "Oh, it will go by fast!" (Tell that to my 3 and 1 year old whom I have to take care of and entertain for 8+hours a day thankyouverymuch!) Feeling for you and praying for you. We moms need to keep an eye out for those others enduring the early pregnancy woes. I can't tell you how much it meant during those early weeks just to have extra hugs from friends and family, sympathy, prayers, and most of all--the smallest gestures of kindness made ALL the difference! Hang in there! Hope you have a poop free day and wonderful nap tomorrow!

  4. My poor Kristen!!! What a day!!!
    I have to confess that I laughed a lot with your story... I am sorry but I couldn't help myself!
    I admire you for surviving such a "nice" morning in your sleepy condition! I don't know if I would be so patient! In fact, I am pretty sure that I would have broken down and cried!!! Some days I am very, very exhausted and I think that my little one can smell it because THAT DAY she decided to destroy and be wild and climb everywhere and scream at any "no" that I say... and then the nightmare of putting her to sleep! I usually shout to my husband to replace me because I am close to kill her and myself after 2 hours of rocking and singing, and trying to stop her kicking, scratching my chest and arms, and talking!... I run upstairs, smoke a cigarette (I quited 2 years ago but sometimes I just need one) and cry like a silly!... In the meantime, Margui screams and cries and screams more because she doesn't want her daddy... I go back to "hell" and only then my sweetie is happy to be back in my arms and go to sleep... I always wonder: WHY, WHY AND WHY SHE HAS TO BRING OUT THE MONSTER THAT I HAVE INSIDE INSTEAD GOING TO SLEEP WITH THE NICE AND SWEET MOMMY THAT SINGS HER LULLABIES???...
    Thanks to God she is a very good girl and these poltergeist episodes happen time to time... like now!

    Go, go Kristen!!! You are such a great mami!!!

  5. So sorry to hear you had such a rough day! My Sunday was similar (except I’m not pregnant, so not quite so bad!) everything that could go wrong, went wrong – culminating with my 18 month old having a screaming tantrum in the middle of the church service. I took him outside and we sat on a stone wall while he calmed down, only to find when I stood up that I’d sat in fresh bird do-do! So I couldn’t sit down again ‘till we got home! A long,long day! You have my every sympathy!


We love comments! No need to log in, just talk to us . . .

Enter your email here to sign up for our weekly recap, the Mama Memo.
Related Posts with Thumbnails