When I'm feeling blue [and totally over my kids]


Today is a day where I am not enjoying my children's presence, or the responsibilities attached to motherhood.  It has been a long week of packing and moving from one house to another (in a neighboring city) and I am so, so tired.  Stick a fork in me - I'M DONE - kind of tired.  The normal kid stuff - whining, fighting, crying, clinging - is just really getting to me today.  I have a shorter fuse and I can hear the voice coming out of me not sounding like the patient, grace-filled mom I really want to be.


I can remember before I had kids thinking that if and when I ever got to have the privilege of having children, that I would not take it for granted - not even for one millisecond.  I would be thankful to walk the road of child-rearing, even in the tough times, even amidst the piles of laundry that I hear all the moms complaining about, even amidst morning sickness.  I would be thankful.  Easier said than done.

This is not to take away from the fact that we all have days where we just want some space.  We want to breathe.  We want quiet. I think it is healthy for us to recognize that there will be times that we do not "like" our kids.  But, for me, today, I know that I need to be reminded to be thankful for these two miracles in my life.  I need to pause and remember that this was the hugest longing that I ever had and that in the midst of infertility I would have literally given my right arm to have children - children that would sometimes drive me crazy.

So...here I sit wanting to be thankful.  And, when I am struggling with a heart of ingratitude, I find that the best thing for me is to just to begin to speak or write out what it is that I am thankful for.  Here goes...

I am thankful that I have two children.
I am thankful that I have kids who wake me up in the morning with their laughter and playing together (even though it is just shy of 6 AM).
I am thankful for the opportunity to parent - even though at times that means not completing even one single task in a given day.
I am thankful for the scraped knees and tears that fall thereafter - because it gives me an opportunity to comfort and cuddle.
I am thankful for the million questions in the car because it means my children have speech.
I am thankful for my little buddy clinging to my legs as I try to wash dishes because I know he will one day be too big for me to hold on my hip.
I am thankful and I feel blessed to walk this road.

Ahhh.  That really did help.

What are you thankful for?

-ab

1 comment:

  1. Yep, I hear you sister...love this..keep smiling...we are all in this together...and none of us is getting out alive! LOL...

    ReplyDelete

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