The New Mom Jean

I went shopping for jeans the other day, and I'm still reeling by some uncomfortable revelations.


My shopping quest started because I decided it was time to venture out from my hoodie-and-yoga-pants uniform that I wear pretty much every day. I decided it was time for a little self-care. I'm still young and hip, right? I need a young and hip outfit.

I started my adventure in Urban Outfitters, and then headed over to H&M. I can count on these stores to clue me in on the latest trends, I figure. But I am disturbed by the fact that each of these stores seem to carry only one shape of jean, in varying colors. The skinny jean.

Now, I know the skinny jean is cool. I'm not living under a rock. But I know my body type. And I know that a pear shape in a skinny jean is not a pretty thing. Why would I want to emphasize my midsection and thighs with jeans that sqeeze my legs into a small taper at the bottom? I have always been a fan of the Lowrise Bootcut. The lowrise makes my waist look longer, and the bootcut makes my leg look more proportioned. Hmm, I think in dismay. I guess I need to head over to the Gap for the old standby jeans.

I wander over to the Gap, which has always been dependable in making jeans that fit me. Actually, as I perused the back of the store, I noticed it was lined with jeans for all shapes, sizes, and generations. They even still carry their "classic" jean, which is the Mom Jean of my own mother's generation. I begin to think that perhaps the Gap should not be my fashion compass.

I leave the Gap and wander the mall again. I start to take a mental note of what people around me are wearing. I noticed that everyone under 25 is wearing skinny jeans. And I mean everyone. Anyone who looked cute, hip, and trendy had on some version of this jean.

I begin feeling the slow, sinking despair one feels when they finally crawl out of denial. Like the feeling of finding out a boyfriend is cheating. Or like reading the nutritional content of a Starbucks Frappucino.

"Oh my gosh," I say out loud to no one in particular. "LOWRISE BOOTCUT IS THE NEW MOM JEAN!"
I take a minute for this to sink in. I have have been holding on to the lowrise bootcut for years. I've been clinging to this fashion like my grandma clung to polyester long after it's time. Like my own mom clung to light denim with pleats and a 9" zipper.

So now, I'm stuck with two options. 1) continue rocking the bootcut lowrise, the New Mom Jean, or 2) look like a stuffed sausage in a pair of skinny jeans.

Oi vay. Back to the yoga pants and hoodie for me.




9 comments:

  1. I will be right there with you rocking the low rise boot cut! Skinny jeans are a definite NO NO for me!

    -Ali

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ali and kristen, so many of my friends LOVE your blog.

    re: skinny jeans. after birthing little miss 9lb 11 oz, my bod's never going to be the same. frankly, i was really loving those high waisted 4 inch waistband jean slacks that we're seen on the likes of Gwen Stefani last fall.

    With regard to the low rise jeans, I'm afraid my muffin top hangs out and I think that it's kind of mean to make other people endure that...especially since I'm usually crawling around on the ground to find a sippy cup or bending over to pick up an Elmo doll and no one deserves to be greeted with my abundant flesh. that's just gross.

    - Anne

    ReplyDelete
  4. I hear you on the low-rise. I still wear them, but I'm usually spilling out over the top. I stop a lot and kind of tuck everything back in. And I wear lots of very, very long shirts . . .

    ReplyDelete
  5. omg i love and need the long shirts! :D and i love the low rise boot cut too. and i say they're not mom jeans! nooooo!!! :D

    ReplyDelete
  6. You guys are so funny. I am so glad I discovered your blog.

    Recently I too, went on a jeans search and it was disgusting.... but finally I found a pair that I love. They are not skinny jeans, and they are somewhat low rise, but not muffin top low rise.They come up just enough to cover the evidence of the three babies that grew down there. They are by See thru Soul and I found them in the Juniors dept at Nordstrom of all places.

    I hope you were shopping by yourself, becuase jeans shopping with little ones in tow can be discouraging now matter what your body looks like.

    Keep the blog going, I am sharing it with my friends.

    ReplyDelete
  7. just say "no" to the skinny jeans! moms unite! i am totally a boot cut girl, and, honestly, i remember rocking the skinny jeans in high school (old levis we would sew to barely fit our heels into....laying on our beds to try and button the fly.) so in my humble opinion...skinny jeans are played out.

    i totally had your "moment" when i started leading the girls group at church. i showed up thinking i looked half way hip and cool, and all the kids had skinny jeans. at that moment i knew i was officially out of the loop...and never able to get back in it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. let's just focus on the footwear. no matter what, we can always pull off footwear.

    right?

    ReplyDelete
  9. oh.my.gosh. I totally am the spokesperson for the new mom jeans! I feel your pain. What's a girl to do??? Let's just hope the skinny jean is a fad and won't make us look totally un-cool for too long!

    ReplyDelete

We love comments! No need to log in, just talk to us . . .

Enter your email here to sign up for our weekly recap, the Mama Memo.
Related Posts with Thumbnails