A Mother's Day Reflection ... Learning to Live With What Is

I am Amy & I am a recovering Mother's Day-Oholic.  ("Hi, Amy.")  I am powerless over my desire for perfect Mother’s Days and Birthdays.

In years past, my list of unexpressed unmet Mother's Day expectations went something like this:

1. A fabulous outfit for me that is stylish and has matching shoes and jewelry and a purse. Ideally this outfit will be in a smaller size than last year.
2. Have a great hair day with enough time to put on a full face of make-up before I get in the car
3. Get at least one “Oh my goodness- YOU? A Mother? I never would have guessed!!! You look so young!”
4. A great place to eat or something extra-memorable to do that includes ....
5. Give the most treasured gifts to the mothers in my life
6. Engaging conversation the whole day through with all family members present
7. Receiving something amazing from my husband (after I assure him that I really don't want anything)
8. Children behaving brilliantly with lots of “Yes, Mother” “Thank You, Mother” and absolutely no talking back, crying, complaining or arguing with me or anyone in my presence. (all children under the age of 8)

If any one of these pieces went awry, I would ask one of two questions. What is wrong with them? (Or) What is wrong with me? 

Has this ever happened to you?

Today was an idyllic Mother’s Day for me. Instead of asking, "What's wrong?!", I gave myself a little gift I call “Living With What Is”.  -Something to try.

Four year old boys can spill their orange juice at restaurants. Onto a plate. That tips over onto the floor. Onto your sandals. My choice to wipe my feet off quickly and not scold my son is one of the things I like about myself as a Mom.  Live with what is.

A daughter may get a cold on Mother’s Day. And cough on you. Driving in the car. All through brunch. All through dinner. My choice to put my arm around her shoulders and pull her a little closer to me and pat her head is one of the things I like about myself as a Mom.  Live with what is.

A car in oncoming traffic may catch on fire. While you are speeding to your destination down the freeway. Black smoke billows everywhere. You can’t protect your children from seeing a vehicle engulfed in flames 4 feet away. Our chance to pray together as a family and beg God to protect all of us and send help is one of the things I want to do more as a Mom.  Live with what is.

Three generations of women (or more!) could gather together to celebrate this day: grandmother, daughter, granddaughter. Three generations share a meal. Three generations make their place in our family history. Three generations of stories to be shared. This makes me grateful as a Mom for all that my Mom has done in order for us to be together at this round table for 12. This is the first year I have fully appreciated my own Mom. Live with what is.

For all that IS Mother’s Day,
Can You Live With What Is?


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