Ah, the pursuit of people-pleasing. Is it just me, or is this a mama's slippery slope? Lately, I've gotten a little obsessed with making cupcakes in an unhealthy, trying-to-prove-myself kinda way. I find the desire to try to be Martha Stewart rears its ugly head every year right around Christmas, when I start making homemade soap (2001) or kahlua (2004) or body scrubs (2003) or truffles (2008) in an attempt to show everyone how crafty and creative and granola I am. Which usually ends up with me feeling tired and frazzled and not even enjoying the process.
For my son's 3rd birthday, I decided to make homemade cupcakes instead of buying the storebought ones. And then my sister pointed out a cupcake blog to me by someone who actually has the time and energy to perfect this craft. And I decided that my first cupcake foray must be, has to be, an amazing creation that will look just as good. I go to five different stores, buy cupcakes stands, and start practicing. I fantacized about the gushing reverance these cupcakes would produce from both mom and child alike at the party. These cupcakes would PROVE what a GOOD and NOBLE mom I am!!!
Can you guess how this story ends? Like these insane moments usually end: with me baking and decorating into the wee hours, totally bombing my kitchen, spending gobs of money and wondering why I didn't just pick up the 20 pack at Costco for $10. Not to mention being too tired for words at the party, and my glib husband reminding me that he TOLD me to just buy the damn cupcakes.
It seems like I don't notice these perfectionistic tendencies until it's much too late, and I'm feeling drained and frazzled and (gasp) unappreciated. How about you? Are there any areas of your life as a mom where you find yourself trying to prove yourself only after you've gone a little crazy?